


Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

by joycie89



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 03:56:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4207011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joycie89/pseuds/joycie89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine is Amish. He loves his family and his culture but they are not accepting of his recently-revealed homosexuality, leading him to make the very hard decision to leave his community at the age of 17.<br/>old story, reposting from ff.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the GKM.
> 
> OP: Blaine is Amish. He loves his family and his culture but they are not accepting of his recently-revealed homosexuality, leading him to make the very hard decision to leave his community at the tender age of 17. He is poorly educated and has no real work experience, but he ends up getting a job at Hummel Tire & Lube, since Burt recognizes a hard worker and wants to help the kid out. And since Blaine is also looking for a place to live, Burt suggests asking his son, who lives nearby in his own apartment and is looking for a roommate.
> 
> Want:  
> \- Kurt teaching Blaine about the "real world".  
> \- Blaine being very innocent but not simple. Very hard working and very determined.  
> \- Blaine's first kiss being a Big Deal.  
> \- Careful, loving sex.
> 
> Do no want:  
> \- Any hard kinks or bizarreness not included in the prompt above. :)

Blaine stepped off the bus, the duffel bag his mom had made him slung over his shoulder. He didn't know what to feel at the moment. One part of him was proud, happy even, to have escaped, while the other wanted to go sit down and cry his eyes out. Not only had he left his family and every person he knew; he had also left a safe environment. Here he knew nothing. He had barely managed to survive the bus ride with all the scary types on it.

When he had seen the bus station he had decided that he might as well take a bus to carry him further away from his home. It wasn't as if he would be driving the vehicle, and he knew some of the men of his community had taken rides with English people, so he didn't think it would be that bad. Then again, he had been shunned, so the rules didn't really apply to him anymore. He walked into the station to purchase a ticket, but when he had asked how much a ticket would cost, he realized he would have to use all his money for a ticket alone, and that meant no spare money for a room in which to sleep. At this point Blaine had felt like breaking down. He was miles from his home, with practically no money, and chances were that he was going to sleep on the side of the road tonight. The clerk had seemed to take pity on him and had handed him a ticket with a sympathetic smile. Maybe he had recognized Blaine's clothes, and guessed what happened, or maybe he just didn't want to deal with a crying seventeen-year-old. Whatever it was, Blaine had been eternally grateful to the man.

He had spent almost two hours on the bus, staring mindlessly out of the window at the passing houses after the first half hour of excitement of being in an actual motor-driven vehicle had passed. His parents had told him to get as far away as possible, although they probably had expected him to walk instead of taking a bus. After two hours he had gotten off the bus, deciding it was far enough. He had thanked the bus driver profusely- his parents had taught him manners if nothing else, and wondered absentmindedly if he could get a motel room with the money he had, not really wanting to sleep outside. He had no idea how much they charged for a room for one night. His father had given him a 50-dollar bill before leaving, saying that no matter what had happened, he didn't want his son to end up dead by the side of a lonely dirt road out in the middle of nowhere. Blaine guessed he should be grateful for that. A lot of parents he knew wouldn't have done the same.

He wasn't naïve though. He knew among the English 50 dollars wouldn't get him far, and not everyone would be as friendly as the bus driver. He needed a job, and fast. He needed a place to stay as well, but he couldn't get one those without money, and he couldn't get money without a job. He sighed and wondered if he could stay  _a couple of_  days in a motel from the money he had.

For the first time since getting off the bus half an hour ago he looked around at his surroundings. He was in a small town, which he assumed was in Ohio. If he was lucky, there might be some farms here that took seasonal workers. He wondered around a little, until he found himself staring at two paper ads that were taped against the window of what seemed to be an auto repair business. One asked for help in the shop, while the other looked for a roommate a little out of town. Blaine was pretty sure the first one wasn't for him. He didn't know the first thing about cars, but the second…

"Interested in something?"

Blaine jumped slightly at the gruff voice that he suddenly heard. He turned around and saw a man in dirty work clothes looking at him with interest. "I, uhm, I'm sorry, Sir. I was just looking at the advertisements."

The man raised an eyebrow.

"I was, uhm, the roommate…" Blaine stuttered.

"Ah, that's my son. He just moved out last month. He could actually afford his own place if he weren't so addicted to his McJacobs and Marc Queens." The man shook his head with a smile. "It's a great place, a half hour from here. You should give him a call if you're interested."

Blaine nodded. He had no idea what the man was talking about, but the price that was mentioned seemed fair enough, not that Blaine knew much about that. There were some pictures on the ad, and those looked quite nice as well. Maybe, if it was half an hour away, there would be farms around where he could work. He would need a job before he could find a place to stay, and he knew his way around the lands.

"Are there any farms where your son lives?"

"Farms?" The man let out a short laugh. "No, not really. If you want farms, you might want to look more west. A farmer's boy, are you?"

Blaine shrugged. "I need a job."

"I'm looking for help, if you're interested."

"I… I wish I could, Sir, but I don't know anything about cars." At that moment, Blaine really wished he did. The man looked very nice, and if the room that was for rent belonged to his son, maybe they could arrange something so Blaine could pay the first month of rent in pieces, after he got his first paycheck. With the 50 dollars he had, he might be able to survive if he had a place to sleep and a job. He didn't need much else, some bread and water was more than enough for the first week or so. He wouldn't like it, and he would definitely miss his mother's cooking, but this wasn't about his comfort; it was about surviving.

"The name is Burt."

"Blaine." Blaine shook the man's hand.

"Well, Blaine, I don't need someone to work at the cars, I've got people for that. Actually I'm looking for someone who will take calls, arrange appointments and receive customers. My son figured it might be a good idea to have someone clean handle the customers instead of, and I quote, 'an in grease-covered caveman'." The man laughed again. "Look, I'm not forcing you, but think about it. I'll teach you about cars in spare moments, if you'd like, but I mostly need someone to look after customers and bring me and my boys some refreshments on hot days like today. Which reminds me, I was going to get some lemonade for us when I saw you standing here. I bet they're almost dehydrated by now. Go home, think about it, and if you're interested, give me a call, okay? And don't be afraid to call Kurt about that room. He's desperate for someone to share the rent with."

"I—I don't have a phone, Sir, or a place to stay for that matter." Blaine looked at the ground.

"You—what?" Burt looked at him, searching. "You don't look that old. What about your parents?"

"I left them, earlier today actually." Blaine let out a humorless chuckle. "They gave me 50 dollars and said they wished to never see me again unless I changed my mind."

Burt looked at him for a few moments, until Blaine started to feel uncomfortable. "It's okay, I knew it would happen, but I just couldn't lie anymore. I needed a chance to be me, so I left."

"And they didn't even allow you to take your phone?"

"I didn't have a phone, Sir. They allowed me to take my possessions." He gestured at his duffel bag. "And my dad even gave me some money, which was more then I had dared to hope for, so it's okay." He shrugged. "I'll get by."

"Come in, son. I'm going to get my boys their drinks, and then we're going to see what we can do for you, okay?"

Blaine looked up at the man standing in front of him. Could he really be so lucky to have met two extremely nice people today? First the bus driver and now Burt.

"You don't have to—" Blaine started, but he was cut off quickly.

"Look, you have no place to go, and it's five in the afternoon. I'm not going to let you sleep on the streets, understand? Let's get inside and figure it out from there, okay?"

Blaine nodded eagerly and followed the man inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine had been sitting at the desk for the last half hour while the man he had met earlier was cleaning up. He had barely moved from the chair, but his eyes had searched every last inch of the office. The walls were painted in a soft blue and had several pictures on them, one of which was Burt and a younger man standing proudly next to a big, black car. It was the same man—boy, really, that was present in the pictures on Burt's desk. There was one older one with Burt, the boy when he was barely seven or eight, and a young women; and one more recent of Burt, the boy again, this time more around 17 or 18, another teenage boy, and a slightly older women who looked nothing like the woman of the other picture, so Blaine assumed she was someone else. Maybe Burt had separated from his wife? He had heard that happened quiet frequently among the English.

"Sorry for the wait, Son. I called my wife and asked to set an extra plate and prepare Kurt's old bedroom for you for tonight."

Blaine's eyes widened. "You don't have to do that, Sir-"

"Nonsense," Burt cut him off. "Like I said before, I won't let you sleep on the street. Now, I have to ask you some things, Blaine. If you feel uncomfortable with them you don't have to answer them, okay?"

Blaine nodded.

"Well, I don't want to jump to conclusions here…"  _Oh God, he knew._  Blaine started to breath heavily.  _He knew Blaine had left his home because he was gay. He knew and now he would throw him out as well._ "… but your clothes, and the fact that you don't have a phone, all kids have phones these days, I just can't help but wonder, are you from a different community?"

"Oh." Blaine had not expected that. He looked down at his dark trousers, his shirt and the suspenders he was wearing, all homemade by his mom and his sisters. "Yes, I'm from—I'm from the Amish community."

Burt nodded. "Further North, I figured."

"I'm not stupid," Blaine blurted out.

Burt chuckled. "I didn't say you were."

Blaine blushed slightly. "I'm sorry; it's just people often assume I'm retarded or something. They'd always look at us with this pity in their eyes when we'd go into the town." He shook his head. "We're not. We might be homeschooled, but we're not stupid. My sister is the best dressmaker in our town, and my older brother was married just this summer to one of the smartest girls I ever met."

"And you?"

"I worked on my father's lands."

Burt nodded. "But they kicked you out."

"No, I had a choice." Blaine held up his head. "I could stay and pretend I wasn't me, or I could leave."

"How old are you, Son?"

"Seventeen, Sir."

"And why did they kick you out?"

Blaine swallowed. He didn't leave his home to start lying in the outside world. If this man didn't like it, he would get up and find somewhere else to stay. "Because I'm gay."

Burt nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'm glad you trust me, Blaine. Now, we should get home. Carole's expecting us for dinner. I'll call Kurt afterward to see if he's still looking for a roommate. We can get you settled tomorrow, and you can start in the shop on Monday."

Blaine blinked.

"If that's okay with you, of course."

Blaine nodded fervently, suppressing the urge to tackle the older man in a hug. "Thank you, Sir."

"It's settled then." Burt grinned as he put the phone down. "Kurt would be glad to have you as a roommate. He's home tomorrow, so we can get you settled in then."

"Maybe he can take Kurt's old bed for the time being, until he can buy his own," proposed Carole.

Blaine's eyes widened and he swallowed audibly.  _Why were these people so nice for him?_  He must have done something right, because why else would God send him to such amazing people. Homosexuality was wrong. The Bible said so. Blaine knew this, but he couldn't change his feelings. When he had left home, his mother had begged for him not to go. It was wrong in God's eyes, and he would surely be punished. She had pleaded for him to stay, to use his rumspringa as an outlet and then come back home. As if acting on his feelings once would make them disappear for the rest of his life. If he had to be honest, he had thought about it, going on his rumspringa, just to try it out, but what would it change? It could only make it harder afterwards. Hiding his true self for his whole life wasn't something he could do, and after all, the Bible also preached honesty.  
He had decided to go, leaving his mother in tears about how he would be shunned, and how God would punish him, but he hadn't seen any punishment yet. In fact, since leaving this morning (was it really only since this morning?), he had only met amazing people. He could only hope this Kurt would be as accepting and friendly as his father.

"You- I mean- you can't-"

"Nonsense, of course we can," Burt interrupted him. "In fact, I think it's a great idea. The bed is just gathering dust here, and we don't want you sleeping on the floor."

"But you've already done so much," whispered Blaine, barely audible. For the umpteenth time that day, he felt like crying. They had taken him in without question; given him a place to sleep; a new place to live; fed him.

"We just want you to be safe, Blaine," Carole said. "Nobody should be living on the street; nobody deserves that."

Blaine looked at his hands. He wasn't convinced about that, but he would take it for now.


	3. Chapter 3

"I was so glad when my Dad called yesterday to say he found me a roommate…" Blaine nodded and drifted off. Kurt had been talking his ear of for the last three hours since Burt had dropped him off and helped him to bring the bed up. He had looked around in wonder at the apartment. It was small, but he was used to sharing his old room with his three brothers, so that didn't bother him. What impressed him was all the electronic devices. There was a huge TV in the living room, a sort of sound box with a small device next to it; the kitchen had at least four electrical things he didn't recognize, although he was fairly certain one of them was called a microwave; he had heard about that. "…unfortunately he didn't tell me much so I think we should start of our first night as roommates with a DVD-marathon and pizza."

"What?" Blaine looked dazed.

"A film marathon? To get to know each other? We can each pick our favorite movie and watch them together?"

"Oh, I don't have a favorite movie."

"What?"

Blaine shrugged. "I've never seen a movie."

Kurt cocked his head and studied his face for a moment. "Blaine, where are you from? My dad said you came from a very sheltered life and needed a place to stay but he told me no details. I don't want to pry, but where have you lived if you have never seen a movie?"

Blaine looked surprised at the little Kurt seemed to know about him, especially since he pretty much had poured out his heart to Burt last night. "Your dad didn't tell you?"

Kurt shook his head. "He said it wasn't his place."

"Oh."

"It's okay, I'll just pick a movie then, and you can tell me if you like it or not before we settle on the second one."

Kurt had seemed to sense Blaine's distress, and decided it was best to avoid the subject, but Blaine didn't want that. He was going to live with this man, so he had the right to know the truth.

"I'm Amish."

"…it's based on ABBA-songs and—wait what?" Kurt turned his head abruptly.

"I'm Amish."

"You're Amish," Kurt repeated, dully. "Well that at least explains the clothes."

"And gay." Might as well get it all out in the open. "Hence the reason I left home."

"You left home? Dad said you got kicked out."

"They gave me the choice. I could pretend I wasn't gay and carry on with my life, but I couldn't do that, so I took the other option."

"You left."

Blaine nodded. "You're okay with that?"

"That you're Amish? Sure, I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but it's not like you've killed someone or anything like that."

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I meant… that I'm gay."

Kurt cocked his head again. "What exactly did my dad tell you about me?"

Blaine shrugged. "Not much. That you recently started teaching, and were looking for a roommate to split the rent so you could buy Queen Jacobs or something?"

"Marc Jacobs."

"Who?"

"He's a designer."

"Oh, so you're okay with me being gay? You don't mind?" He had to know; he had to be sure. Just because Burt didn't mind, didn't mean his son felt the same.

"Now, I get you've grown up in a closed environment, so you haven't seen many man, but really?" Kurt looked down at himself.

Blaine looked clueless.

Kurt sighed and got his phone out of his pocket. "Let me get an example for you." He opened it and showed Blaine a picture. "This is my very straight stepbrother- in his very typical boys' clothes."

Blaine looked at the device in wonder. "That's your phone?"

"Yes, but that was not the point, Blaine." Kurt shook his head. "Very straight stepbrother- me. Can you spot the difference?"

"Oh,  _oh_!" Blaine's eyes lit up. "You're gay?"

"I can't believe my dad didn't tell you," Kurt muttered.

"You're gay." Blaine repeated.

"Very much so, yes."

"That's amazing!"

Kurt smiled. "I'm glad you seem to think so."

"No, no! It's just... I've never met anyone that was like me before," Blaine explained, barely containing his excitement. "Can you teach me?"

Kurt snorted. "It's not something you can teach; I figured you'd know that."

"No, I mean…" He blushed. "I've never, I mean. I don't know what to do. How to… be with boys."

"Okay, I think we have a lot to talk about. How about we forget that movie and just talk instead?"

Blaine nodded excitedly. "I can make us some tea, if you'd like, or coffee."

"Coffee sounds great. You can find everything in the kitchen, just open the cupboards."

Blaine nodded and went to the kitchen. He had wanted some privacy to arrange his thoughts, and what better way than the soothing motions of making coffee. He used to do it all the time when he was at home. Kurt had said he could look through all the cupboards, so he started opening them one by one. Finally, in the second to last he saw something that vaguely reminded him of coffee, so he pulled out the package and opened it. Inside were little cups with different names on them. Risretto, Roma, Rosabaya. Blaine frowned and grabbed a couple of cups. Maybe the beans were inside and he just needed to get them out. He opened a few drawers until he had found a pair of scissors and cut the packages open. He let out a surprised yell when liquid dripped out of them.

"Blaine? Everything okay?"

Blaine looked anxiously.  _It was coffee. How hard could it be to make coffee? Wasn't that the same everywhere?_

"Blaine?"

Blaine tried to shove the cups back in the box before Kurt could see him struggle. "Yes, everything is fine, it's coffee; I can make coffee." He looked up to see Kurt stare at him with an amused expression.

"Let me explain," said Kurt, gently taking the box with cups from Blaine and setting them on the counter. "You choose a flavor, and then you put the little cup in here." He pointed at one of the machines that was standing on the counter. "You put your mug under it and press start. And it does the rest on its own."

Blaine looked in awe as the machine produced coffee. "You don't have to grind beans?"

"Nope," Kurt shook his head. "It's called a Keurig machine. Here, try one. What do you like?"

"I only ever had normal coffee."

"Okay, we'll go with Roma then." Kurt handed Blaine a little cup and watched him as he copied Kurt's earlier movements.

Blaine was trembling. Everything was so different here. Even the simple things like coffee. Kurt had asked him which flavor he liked.  _Flavor._  He didn't know you had different flavors of coffee. Maybe leaving hadn't been the greatest idea. Maybe he should have just pretended to be straight and married one of the nice girls of his community. Maybe-

"It's done."

Blaine looked up abruptly.

"Your coffee." Kurt gestured at the machine with a broad grin. "It's done; you did it."

It was that exact moment Blaine realized how breathtakingly beautiful his new roommate was. With all the excitement before, of moving, getting to know new people, a new environment, Blaine hadn't even noticed. Now however, he was standing in Kurt's kitchen and Kurt was looking at him with a proud smile, and he looked gorgeous. He took Blaine's breath away. It was the first time in his life Blaine had felt the urge to pull anyone closer to him and connect their lips with a kiss. He blushed at the idea. He had heard other boys from his age whisper about stealing kisses from girls, but never had he felt the need to do the same.

"Blaine?"

Blaine shook thoughts away. "Sorry." He had been staring.

"That's okay, it's a lot to take in, I guess."

The thing was, he could actually pull Kurt to himself and kiss him. Nobody would judge him here. Nobody would see him as a spawn of the devil himself.

"We should take it to the living room so we can talk."

Blaine nodded and grabbed his cup, following Kurt closely, knowing he had made the right decision by leaving.

"So, Blaine, how old are you?" Kurt asked him when they sat down.

"Seventeen."

"Oh, wow, you're only a kid."

"Hey," Blaine looked up. "I've been working since I was 12, I'm not a kid."

"Sorry," Kurt winced. "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just, I have students of your age. You do look older though, and I guess you are in many ways."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

Blaine nodded. "My brother is 22. He got married last year."

"Do you have a lot of brothers and sisters?"

Blaine stared at his cup of coffee. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Kurt, it was just that thinking about them made him—

"I'm sorry, you must miss them. We can talk about something else."

It was almost like Kurt could read his mind. "Yeah, thanks. I've got six of them, by the way."

"Six?"

Blaine nodded. "Three brothers and three sisters."

"Wow, I only have my step-brother."

"I know."

"Right, so dad told you all about our family history, but he never mentioned the fact that I'm gay. I wonder why."

"When did you know?"

"That I was gay?"

Blaine nodded.

"I guess I've always known, but I didn't admit to it until I was 16. My dad says he knew since I was three though. You?"

Blaine took a sip of his coffee. Oh my, this was heaven. He didn't know coffee could taste like this.

"Blaine?" Kurt smiled at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just, this is really good."

"I'm glad you like it. So?"

"Oh, right, yeah I always knew I was different. I never felt the urge to go and kiss girls like my brothers often talked about, but I really started to notice I was different last year when my brother got married. I'm the second-oldest, and everyone was talking how I was going to be next and all, but I just couldn't see it. I couldn't see myself with a girl, or kissing a girl, or well, you know."

"Having sex?"

Blaine blushed, but nodded.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Uhm, yeah?"

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Blaine shook his head.

"I thought so," said Kurt.

"But I'm gay!" Blaine blurted out.

"I never said you weren't."

"Just because I've never kissed anyone doesn't mean I don't know what I want, or don't. I'm not some naïve kid."

"Blaine, calm down, I never said that, did I? I was just curious."

"Oh." Blaine flushed.

"Yeah,  _oh._  I knew I was gay before I kissed someone, and trust me when I say my first kiss with a boy wasn't what I had hoped it would be."

It was Blaine who cocked his head curiously this time.

"Doesn't matter anymore," Kurt shrugged him off, "Just, promise me you won't go around and kiss the first boy you cross just because you can, okay?"

"Okay?" Blaine frowned, there was more to this.

"It's just, your first kiss should be special, with someone you care about."

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned his head and stared at the wall. "Some closeted homophobic bully forced my first kiss, and it was horrible."

"I'm sorry."

Kurt shook his head. "It was a long time ago. I just don't want that for you."

"I promise you my first kiss will mean something." Blaine had the urge to reach over and grab Kurt's hand. Give him a reassuring squeeze, but he didn't.

"Good."

They were silent for a few moments, both lost in their thoughts. Blaine was wondering how he was going to do this. There was so much to learn, to discover, not only in his sexuality, but in everyday life. Today he had managed to make coffee, with Kurt's help, but how was he supposed to go to work on Monday and manage appointments and customers?

"I'll help you, you know."

Blaine looked up. "What?"

"I'm sure it's all overwhelming, but I'll help you. I'll teach you everything you want to know."

"That would be… really great."

"My dad's trapped in the past, so don't worry about working for him. He knows nothing about computers and keeps all his appointments in an old-fashioned paper-agenda. I'm always scolding him for it, but I guess you'll be glad for that."

Blaine nodded. Good, no computers.

"He'll understand if you need to ask something, so don't be afraid, okay? And I'll give you my cell phone number, so you can call me anytime. I have to turn my phone off during classes, but I'll check for messages in-between."

"But I don't have a phone," Blaine said.

"There's a phone at the garage you can use, and as soon as you get your first pay-check we'll get you your own cell. If you want to."

"Why wouldn't I?"

Kurt shrugged. "Just because you've left your community might not mean you want to start living differently."

Blaine smiled at Kurt's thoughtfulness. He really was proving to be the best roommate and mentor he had dared hoping for. "That's okay. If everything turns out as great as this coffee, I don't mind."

Kurt laughed. "If you like the coffee, wait until I've introduced you to the wonders of musicals and TV."


	4. Chapter 4

"Wait, what is that?" Kurt stopped halfway in the kitchen and eyed Blaine up and down.

"My clothes for work?" Blaine answered, unsure what the question meant. He had been fumbling with the coffee maker, trying out a new flavor before work, and making Kurt a cup as well.

"I'm sorry, but no."

"No?" Blaine looked down. These were the nicest clothes he owned. His sister had made them for his brother's wedding last year. He was especially fond of the suspenders.

"Come with me."

Blaine let out a surprised yelp when Kurt grabbed his hand and led him towards his bedroom. Kurt pushed him down to sit on the bed and walked over to his closet. Blaine swallowed and tried to shake the tingling feeling from his hand, trying desperately not to think too much about the fact that he was in Kurt's bedroom. Sweet, beautiful Kurt who had spend his entire Saturday and Sunday on teaching Blaine his way around the house. Saturday they had watched three musicals, since Blaine couldn't get enough after  _Mama Mia_  and Kurt had showed him how to order pizza, which was easily the greatest thing Blaine had ever tasted. Not even his mom's chicken corn soup could top it.

On Sunday Kurt had taken him to the shop and explained the basic stuff he needed to do, which didn't look all that difficult. Kurt had been right; Burt kept all his appointments in a planner, and answering a phone wasn't that hard, although it was weird when Kurt went outside and called him from his cell phone. They had talked a bit through the line, and Blaine couldn't help but notice how beautiful Kurt's voice was. Then Blaine had dialed Kurt's number three times, so he knew for certain how to do it, and they had talked some more. In the afternoon Kurt had offered to show him how to make lemonade, but Blaine had refused and said he knew how to make lemonade, so he ended up teaching Kurt his grandmother recipe for sweet raspberry lemonade. They had made several gallons that Blaine could take with him to work, since Kurt insisted it was heavenly and his father and the boys would adore it.

"Here, try this." Kurt gave him pants, a shirt and a vest. "I think we're the same size, I'll just have to shorten the pants a bit, but for today we'll just tuck the hem and pin it with a safety pin or two. I'll adjust them tonight."

Blaine looked between his own clothes and the clothes Kurt had handed him. They were easily the nicest clothes he had ever seen, but these were his sisters…

"Blaine, I know you probably like your own clothes."

"My sister made them for me."

Kurt bit his lip. "She did a lovely job, I promise, but those aren't clothes people usually wear around here. They're very typical for your community and people might treat you differently if they see you wearing those. You want to look like a neat gentleman today, so you fit in."

Blaine looked up and saw that Kurt had crouched down so he was on eyelevel and he jumped slightly when he felt Kurt's hand on his knee.

"I'm not saying you should throw them away. They're just not right for today."

Blaine nodded. He knew Kurt was right. He didn't want people to pity him and see him as that poor Amish boy Burt was helping. "Okay."

"Okay, I'll go and finish our coffee while you get changed."

…

Blaine was fumbling with the hem of the vest when he entered the kitchen a little later. He wasn't so sure he and Kurt were the same size, because everything seemed very tight, especially the pants. He wasn't used to certain parts being so- restricted.

"Oh!" Kurt smiled brightly when he noticed Blaine and he came closer. "Look at you, very handsome."

"You think so?" Blaine asked. "It doesn't fit very well, I think."

"It fits perfectly!" Kurt argued. "The pants are a little tight around the butt, so maybe you need a size bigger, but it's not vulgar."

Blaine could swear he could hear Kurt mumble something that sounded a lot like 'hot', but he wasn't sure.

"Just go stand on the chair and I'll shorten the legs a little."

Blaine did as he was instructed and looked down at Kurt, who was staring at his legs intently. He didn't know why, but seeing Kurt like this made his insides clench together pleasantly, reminding him once again of the tightness of the pants he was currently wearing. He had already decided on Friday his roommate was incredibly hot, and very attractive, but the fact that he was also generous and sweet made Blaine fall harder then he wanted. He didn't want to fall for the first gay man he met outside his community, but he couldn't help himself. Kurt was so… Kurt. It was amazing.

"All done. I'll sew them tonight and we can get some new clothes for you next weekend, Dad said he'd pay you once a week for the first month so you can get started."

Blaine jumped off the chair and tried to ignore his raging hormones when Kurt suddenly was weaving his fingers through Blaine's hair. "But… uhm, the rent," he stuttered. Kurt was standing almost flush against him.

"Don't worry about that; first month's on me. Can I do something with your hair?"

Blaine could only nod.

"Okay," Kurt jumped back suddenly and ran to the bathroom. "Don't move." He was back before Blaine could blink and his hands were back in Blaine's mass of curls. He wasn't sure what Kurt was trying to do; they were untamable. He had tried to plaster them to his head last year with fat, but even that only worked for a couple of hours before the curls sprang free again.

"Perfect." Kurt breathed, and for a moment Blaine wished he was talking about him. "Go look in the mirror, Handsome."

Blaine flushed and walked over to the bathroom. He looked at himself at the mirror in awe, touching his hair to make sure it was him who he saw in the reflection. "You… I… my curls."

"Do you like it?" Kurt showed up behind him with a bright smile.

Blaine nodded, still staring. He barely recognized himself, and he was pretty sure his parents wouldn't recognize him if they passed him in the street, which made him somewhat sad. He didn't hate his parents, or their way of life. He loved them, and he loved living on their own farm, but this… This was a whole new side of him, a side that he had to hide for years. "I wish Rebecca could see this. She's the best dressmaker of our town."

"Your sister?"

"Yes. She loves clothes. She's the one that made mine." It was the first time he really mentioned one of his siblings to Kurt.

"I could see she did a great job, although they were a little loose for my taste, but the sewing was great."

"That's how all our clothes are. It's easier to work on the land in loose clothes." He paused for a moment. "I—I asked her to fit my clothes for my brother's wedding a bit more, and she looked like I had three heads." He laughed fondly at the memory. "Clothes shouldn't show off your body."

"Well, in my opinion it's a shame to hide that body," said Kurt in a soft voice.

Blaine blushed and ducked his head. Kurt was just being nice, but it was affecting him more than it should. "I have to catch the bus."

Kurt nodded.

They had looked up the bus schedule yesterday, and a bus stopped just around the corner of Kurt's apartment and almost in front of Burt's shop.

"I wish I could drop you of, but Mondays are my long days. Early mornings and late evenings."

"It's okay. I like the bus."

Kurt frowned. "I always hated it."

"Well, it's big step forward from horse-carriages."

"I guess, although those are romantic."

"Really?" Blaine looked surprised. He had never imagined a carriage ride as romantic.

Kurt flushed and mumbled. "Well, you know, it's cliché, but I like the idea. At night under the stars with that special someone, sharing sweet kisses."

Blaine could almost see it. He and Kurt, whispering soft nothings to each other, holding hands, sharing short kisses. He guessed it could be romantic, with the right person. He shook himself out of it again. "So far I've only ridden the carriage with my father or my brothers, so there's nothing romantic to that."

Kurt laughed. "No, I guess not."

"I really should get going."

Kurt nodded. "I'll have to turn my phone of during class, but I'll check it for messages between classes. So call me if there's anything, okay? And feel free to use whatever you want when you get home tonight. I won't be home until seven, so I usually order in on Mondays. My menus are in the top-drawer next to the sink, so feel free to pick something you want to try. You remember how the TV and blu-ray works?"

Blaine laughed and nodded. Kurt had explained it every time he had put in a movie, and wrote it down in a small note book that he had started for Blaine. It was full with instructions and tips to help him around the house. "I think I can manage,  _Mom_."

Kurt shook his head fondly. "Okay, but promise me to call if you're panicking or don't know how to use something."

"I promise, Kurt," Blaine answered sincerely, forever grateful to have walked into Burt and have this wonderful man into his life. It was in that moment Blaine decided he would do anything to keep Kurt, even if they would be nothing but roommates for the rest of their lives. Kurt was too amazing to lose over a silly crush.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Blaine's first day so far had been, well, stressful. He wasn't used to this. At home he would work on his father's lands with his brothers. It was hard work, but not stressful. Today however, he felt pressure. He didn't want to disappoint Burt. Not after everything he had done for him. He felt the urge to call Kurt to calm down, but he didn't want to intrude. Kurt had his own life, and Blaine shouldn't cling to him.

His heart started racing when the phone rang for the third time that day. Answering calls from customers was nerve-racking for him. What if they asked for specifics and he couldn't answer them? The first two calls this morning had been fine, but he was still trembling when he picked up the phone, like Kurt had shown him the day before.

"Hummel's Tire's & Lube, Blaine here, how can I help you?"

"Don't you sound professional?" a teasing voice answered.

"Kurt?" A sigh of relief escaped from Blaine's throat. Kurt was calling him.

"The one and only. How are you doing?"

"Good, good, I hope." Blaine answered hurriedly, while looking through the window to the work space. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to have private calls on the job.

"Relax, Blaine, my dad won't mind that we're talking. Besides, I was the one that called you."

Blaine nodded before realizing Kurt couldn't see him. He still needed to get used to this. "Okay, I'm just… I really want to be good, you know?"

Kurt chuckled. "I'm sure you're doing great. Did you bring them the lemonade you made yesterday?"

"Yes!" Blaine exclaimed, exited. "They loved it. Burt said he would keep me if I brought it every day."

"Told you. It's very good."

Blaine grinned at Kurt's praise. He loved it when Kurt complimented him. He never had anyone complimenting him before except his mother or his sisters, but this wasn't the same. This was a compliment from another man, someone who wasn't required to love him, like his mother and sisters were, but seemed to do it nonetheless. "Hey, Kurt?"

"What?" Kurt sounded concerned at Blaine's change in tone.

"We're friends, right?"

"Yeah, we're friends."

Blaine's smile softened. "I think you're the best friend I've ever had."

He could hear Kurt laugh and frowned. "You haven't seen me throw a fit yet. Come back to that comment when you've seen that."

"No, really, you've done so much and we barely know each other."

Kurt's tone turned serious after that. "Well, I like you, Blaine. You're a great person, and you deserve a great life."

"Thanks." Blaine swallowed audibly, and said nothing more, afraid he might choke up.

"I… I have to go," said Kurt after a few moments of silence. "I have lunch duty in five minutes. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine agreed before saying his goodbye and hanging up the phone. He stared at it for a minute before sighing deeply. Kurt was amazing, too amazing for Blaine. He deserved everything, not a stupid seventeen-year-old kid that knew nothing of the world.

"Hey, kiddo, come have lunch with us." Burt poked his head trough the open window and grinned at him. "Kurt called you?"

Blaine's eyes widened. "Uhm, yeah, I wasn't… he just wanted to make sure-"

"Chill, Blaine. I knew he would call. I know my son. Now, it's lunch break. Grab your lunch bag and come sit with us, and bring that lemonade. My boys have been whining about it for the last hour."

"Okay." Blaine nodded and eagerly grabbed his lunch bag from under the desk.

* * *

Blaine was eying the stove warily. Kurt had briefly explained it to him yesterday, and it didn't look too difficult. Putting a pot on the burner and boiling the water for the potatoes should be easy. He was hopeful that he could make the oven work as well. He took a deep breath and started unloading everything he bought at the supermarket around the corner. He had been in a supermarket before, but it had been the first time he had bought actual potatoes and vegetables in it. At home they grew their own, but he didn't have the time, or space to do it in Kurt's apartment. Anyway, he had eaten take-out the whole weekend, which he assumed wasn't from homemade vegetables either, so this was at least better than that.

When Kurt had told him this morning that he would be home late, Blaine had decided he would cook for them as a surprise. Blaine was fairly good cook. He had always enjoyed helping his mother and sisters in the kitchen. It wasn't common for men to work in the kitchen at his home. As a child he had started helping his mother out, and it had stuck, since he liked it so much. There had been some teasing comments from his brothers about it, but he was more then grateful for the skill now. He only hoped Kurt didn't mind feeding him for the rest of the week, since his 50 dollars was practically gone once he paid for his items. He sighed. Living among the English turned out to be a lot more expensive then he had anticipated.

Deciding he could figure out the stove later, he started looking through drawers to find a small knife so he could peel the potatoes. While he went through the familiar tasks of preparing the meal, his mind wandered back to Kurt, amazing, beautiful, wonderful Kurt who had called him again that afternoon to see if everything was okay. Burt was great as well, so it must run in the family, but even though Burt was extremely nice and patient with him, he wasn't Kurt.

Kurt had been the first boy- well, man- Blaine had been attracted to. When he first discovered he liked boys more then he should, he had started subtly looking at his friends. None of them made him feel anything. He figured it was because he had known them all their lives and knew how disgusting some of them were, not washing their hands after going to the bathroom, not brushing their teeth every day. It all made Blaine shudder. Like most boys around him, he didn't mind getting dirty, but the first thing Blaine did after a long day of working on the lands was take a shower. He hated it when there was dirt under his nails, or leftovers from dinner between his teeth.

Kurt however, Kurt didn't do any of those things. Kurt showered daily; Kurt brushed his teeth every morning and evening, and not only that, Kurt seemed to genuinely like him as well. Blaine figured he must have been tired after a whole weekend of explaining things do him, but apparently he wasn't. He had called Blaine twice just to see if everything was going okay, and the second time he had even ended their call with 'I can't wait to get home tonight so you can tell me about your day'.

He grabbed the notebook Kurt had made for him and read over the instructions for the oven. It seemed a lot like the one they had at home, only this one ran on electricity. He put the dish in the oven, set the timer on 2 hours and recruited to the living room. Kurt had said he could use anything he wanted, but he was afraid he would do something wrong with the TV, even though he really wanted to watch  _Hairspray_  since Kurt had mentioned it yesterday. Deciding they could watch it together later, he walked over to the shelf were some books were lying. He had read books, but most of the books his parents owned were about their faith, or at least approved for their themes. Blaine loved reading, and had even read the Bible twice, so he was curious to see what Kurt owned.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Blaine looked up from his book when Kurt entered the apartment and shut the door behind him. "Sorry, I've always wanted to use that sentence."

"I hope you don't mind; I borrowed one of your books."

"Of course not, what are you reading?" Kurt asked while settling down next to Blaine.

"Harry Potter or something?"

"Oh," Kurt's eyes lit up. "It's a series of seven books. I believe a few of them are still at Finn's, but I can get them back if you'd like."

Blaine nodded shyly. "If it's not too difficult. I'm enjoying them."

"So you like to read? Did you have many books at home?"

"Yes, I love to read. We didn't have many books, but we had some classics, like Jane Austen."

"Oh my God. Did you read  _Pride and Prejudice_?"

"Uhm, yes?" Blaine answered, confused at Kurt's enthusiasm. "I've read it several times. I liked it a lot."

"We have to see the movie then, and the series. Personally, I think the series is better, but Matthew Macfadyen makes a handsome Mr. Darcy in the movie, even though Colin Firth isn't bad either."

"Who?"

"Oh, Darling, you'll understand when we've seen them. Have you decided what you wanted to order for dinner, yet?"

"Oh," Blaine suddenly remembered his dish in the oven. "I hope you don't mind, I cooked us something."

"Really?" Kurt's eyes lit up. "Could you figure out the stove?"

"Sure, it looks a lot like the one we have at home, but this one runs on electricity."

"Great, what did you make for us?"

Blaine couldn't help the little jump his heart made when Kurt said 'us'. He knew it was silly. He knew Kurt didn't look at them like that, but he couldn't help but pretend for a little while that it did mean something more.

"Blaine?"

Kurt interrupted his thoughts. "Uhm, right. Pork Chops with Sauerkraut and Potatoes."

"Sounds great. I used to cook for my dad all the time when I still lived with him, but I often can't find the will to cook for myself alone. I'm glad you're here so I have someone to share meals with again."

Blaine nodded excitedly. Meals had always been a family thing for them, so he was glad he wasn't forced to eat dinner alone. He loved Kurt's company. "It should be almost ready."

"Great, let me find my copy of  _Pride and Prejudice_  so we can watch it during dinner."


	6. Chapter 6

"Kurt, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, ask away."

Blaine sat down on the couch next to his roommate and wrung his hands together nervously. He wasn't sure how to start this conversation, but he really wanted to know. "I… where I come from, we uhm—"

"Blaine, just spit it out. I won't judge you."

Blaine took a deep breath. "Teach me about boys?"

"What?"

"I don't know… how to be gay. I've never… nobody I knew before was like me, or if they were, they pretended not to be. I don't know how to be with a boy."

Kurt's face softened. "I can't teach you how to be gay, Blaine, like they couldn't teach you how to be straight. It's just who you are. There's no guideline to be an über-gay. You are who you are. The fact that you like boys is just a small part of you."

"Yeah, I know that, but I mean… sex… and stuff?"

"Sex?" Kurt looked quizzically.

"It's not, I mean, before we get married our father takes us aside and tells us how it works. I mean, I'm not stupid, I've heard stories… but I've never- I don't know…"

"You want to know about gay sex?"

"Yes." Blaine breathed out in relief that Kurt got what he meant. "But not just sex. Like, kissing and all? Is it different?"

"Well, kissing is pretty much the same, with a boy or a girl. You press your lips together and just, follow your instincts. Don't think too much about it."

Blaine nodded and looked instinctively at Kurt's lips. He could do that. It didn't sound too difficult.

"About sex, well, I feel a little awkward telling you this. I think I've got some pamphlets lying around somewhere from when my dad gave me the sex talk. I'll find them for you."

Blaine nodded. He noticed Kurt was blushing, and he didn't want to embarrass his only friend. "Okay, I'm sorry I asked. It's just, I've never had anyone with whom I could talk about this."

"No, I—you're right. I mean, it's just a little awkward, you know. Technically you could be one of my students so I should be able to give you a sex talk, but you're not, so yeah."

Blaine bit his lip. What did Kurt mean,  _you're not_. Of course he didn't follow Kurt's classes, but it could he mean something else? Maybe that he meant more to Kurt?

"Right, let me see, you have different kinds of sex…"

Blaine's head shot up, he hadn't expected Kurt to continue.

"…handjobs, blowjobs, penetration."

Kurt was rambling, and Blaine was pretty sure that he didn't have a clue what Kurt was talking about. He might have heard from blowjobs from one of the boys in his community once, but… "Wait, what? What's that?"

"Okay…" Kurt bit his lip and tried to avoid Blaine's eyes. "Uhm, handjobs? Like you do it with your hands?"

"Oh, like on your own?" He had done that before. Not much, maybe once or twice.

"Yes," Kurt squeaked. "Or you know, you can do it for your partner."

Blaine nodded. He could see the pleasure of someone else touching you like that. Kurt's smooth hands on his-

"And well blowjobs, are like the same, but with your mouth." Kurt was still avoiding all eye-contact.

The thought made Blaine's heart race. He had heard stories from boys and girls that had snuck out and received them, but the idea had always been so foreign to him. He saw Kurt's tongue dart out to moisten his lips, and couldn't help but imagine that same muscle around his cock, licking it up and down, Kurt's mouth around him and-

"And then you have anal penetration."

Blaine was ripped out of his daydream abruptly. "How does that work?"

Kurt squirmed in his seat. "Right, well you first have to prepare your partner, the one that is receiving."

"But, how?" Blaine didn't want to make Kurt uncomfortable; he just really wanted to know.

"Uhm, with your fingers, and lube! Lots of lube, especially the first few times. Some men like to use their tongues as well."

Blaine scrunched his face at the thought of putting his tongue in someone's asshole. That didn't seem in the least pleasurable to him.

Kurt laughed at his face. "I promise you, it feels better than it sounds."

"Okay, I trust you." Blaine frowned. "But how does penetration feel good? I can imagine it's good for the one on top, but if you're on the receiving end? I don't see how it can be pleasurable."

"Oh, God." Kurt hid his face in his hands. "It's uhm, yeah it's not for everyone; you might not like it."

"But you do?" it was out of his mouth before Blaine realized it. He clasped his hand in front of his mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask that."

"I do, actually." Kurt was beet red by now. "I like the fullness, and the stretch, and being really connected with someone you care for."

Blaine nodded. He could get the whole 'connected' thing.

"And there's the prostate, of course."

"Prostate?"

Kurt hummed. "It's this gland just in front of your rectum, and when you put a slight pressure on it… well, it feels really good for some men."

"Not for everyone?"

"No," Kurt shook his head. "There is lots of other stuff you can do to feel good, but I think those are the main ones. If you find yourself with a boyfriend one day, I suggest you talk with him about what you both would like."

Blaine got lost in his own thoughts. It was a lot to take in.

"Just, don't do any of that with someone you don't care about, okay? It's not worth it, I promise."

"Kurt?" Blaine looked confused. It almost sounded like Kurt had personal experience.

He turned to look at Blaine. "I know everyone makes a big deal out of being kissed and having sex, but just be sure it's with the right person, someone you really care for. Don't do it because you think you are supposed to."

 _I care for you,_ Blaine couldn't help but think while his eyes flickered to Kurt's lips. Kurt was looking at him intensely, before shaking his head softly and turning the other way.

"Thanks for telling me," Blaine said softly.

Kurt bit his lip. "It's like helping a little brother. It might be embarrassing, but we can get over and that and talk about anything, okay?"

"A little brother?" Blaine frowned. He didn't like that idea.

"Yeah, you're 17; you could be my little brother." Kurt suddenly had a determined look on his face. "Anyway, I'll go find you those pamphlets."


	7. Chapter 7

"Blaine?"

Blaine looked up from the third Harry Potter book he was reading to see Kurt standing awkwardly in the doorway of his room. "Yes?"

"I know I promised you we'd go out shopping tomorrow, but this student from my class asked if I could fill him in on the lessons he missed last week when he was sick. He's a boarder, so I said I'd come by over the weekend to help him."

"Oh, sure, okay." Blaine tried to hide his disappointment. He really needed to go shopping; he couldn't keep using Kurt's clothes. He guessed he could go alone, if Kurt wouldn't mind giving him directions on how to take the bus to the mall, but he had really been looking forward to spending the day with Kurt, getting to know him a little better, maybe asking his opinion on clothes.

"I really want to go shopping with you, though, so I figured maybe you could tag along? He didn't miss much, and he's a bright student, so it'll take me an hour at most. You can see where I work, roam around a little, or bring a book to keep you busy. There's a mall not five miles from the school we could go to." Kurt sounded almost hopeful.

"You want me to come with you?"

"Yes."

Blaine tried his best to contain himself from jumping up and down the bed in excitement. Kurt wanted Blaine to come with him. He wanted Blaine's company. He tried his best to relax his face into what he hoped was a sweet smile. "Okay, I'll come with you."

"Great! There are tons of students that are around your age as well; maybe you'll manage to make some friends."

This reminded Blaine once again that he is seventeen, and Kurt didn't see him as anything else than a little brother. He had said so a couple of days ago. "Yeah, maybe."

…

"Hey there. New?"

Blaine turned around to see a blond boy around his age smiling at him.

"Are you lost? I could help you. My name is Sky."

"Blaine," he smiled friendly. "And no, I'm not lost. I'm just waiting for my friend to finish tutoring."

An hour at most, Kurt had promised him this morning before leaving Blaine alone. That had been two hours ago, but Blaine didn't want to be an annoying little brother and nag. Oh, how he hated that term.

"Oh, it's a shame you're not going here," Sky winked. "I would have liked to get to know you better."

Was this boy flirting with him? Blaine wasn't sure; he never had anyone coming on to him before. Of course Kurt was touchy-friendly and gave him compliments all the time, but then again, Kurt saw him as a sweet… little… brother.

"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? From the clothes, I just assumed you were gay. I didn't mean to offend you." Sky grimaced when Blaine didn't react.

"Oh, no, no! I am, gay that is. I'm just not used to people hitting on me," Blaine explained hurriedly, not wanting to offend the guy.

"Oh, well you must have been hanging with the wrong crowd then." Sky winked.

Blaine let out a breathy laugh. "You could say that."

"Blaine, I'm so, so sorry! I had no idea it would take this long and- oh, hello Sky." Kurt came rushing down the hall.

"Mr. Hummel!" Sky's eyes widened and he looked at Blaine. " _He's_  your friend? How old are you?"

"Hey, I'm not that old," Kurt said. "Besides, Blaine's seventeen. Don't worry."

"Oh."

Blaine looked at the two men staring at each other. Sky was curiously looking between Blaine and Kurt, while Kurt smiled at him, but it was genuine, like he smiled at Blaine.

"Ehm, we should get going, right Kurt?"

"Yes, we should!" Kurt said brightly. "Lots of shops to visit."

"Uhm, can I maybe get your number, Blaine?" Sky asked timidly; probably because his teacher was now present. "Maybe we can hang out sometime?" He was still glancing at Kurt while he asked this.

Blaine wasn't sure what to say. "I don't have a phone, yet. We're going to buy one actually."

"Oh, maybe I can give you my number and you can call me?"

"Yeah, sure." Blaine nodded. Why not? Sky looked like a nice guy. Maybe he could follow Kurt's advice and they could be friends.

"Okay," Kurt interrupted when Sky grabbed a piece of paper out his bag to scribble down his number. "We really have to go, Blaine."

"Here," Sky thrust the piece of paper in Blaine's hands. "Text me, okay?"

Blaine nodded and yelled his goodbye while hurrying after Kurt. He almost had to run to keep up with the taller man.

"Jeez, Kurt, think of us small people when you're taking these giants steps, will you?" Blaine panted when he climbed into Kurt's car.

"Sorry, I just… sorry." Kurt gripped his steering wheel tightly.

"Did… something happen?"  _Were you jealous that Sky was hitting on me?_

Kurt breathed deeply. "No, of course not. Let's go shopping."

…

"What do you think?" Blaine came out of the dressing room in his 15th outfit for the day. He quite liked this one- bright red pants and a black polo.

"It's missing something."

"Yeah?" Blaine frowned. He thought he looked good.

"It looks great on you, really shows off your muscles. It just needs a little something. Wait right here."

Blaine nodded, but Kurt had already sped off back into the store. It had been like that most of the day. Kurt would run around and Blaine would try on the clothes Kurt brought him. He wondered what Kurt had meant by that comment about his muscles. He knew he was muscular. Long hours working on the land had been good for his body. He couldn't help but hope that Kurt liked it.

"Here."

"What's that?" Blaine cocked his head at the piece of fabric in Kurt's hands.

"It's a bowtie!"

"A bowtie?"

Kurt nodded excitedly. "Come, let me show you." He bounced up to Blaine and grabbed him by his shoulders, guiding Blaine to turn around to face the mirror. He started to tie the fabric around Blaine's neck, looking at his reflection trough the mirror. "I only know how to tie one on myself, so it's easier this way. We're lucky that I'm slightly taller than you."

Blaine swallowed almost audibly and nodded, not being able to form a coherent sentence. Kurt was pressed flush against his backside. Kurt's groin was millimeters away from his own ass. He really couldn't help himself; his mind wandered to some of those pamphlets Kurt had given him earlier that week, remembering a certain position described in one of them that was pretty close to how they were standing, but with far less clothing. It was described as frottage, if he remembered the term correctly. He closed his eyes when he felt Kurt smooth his hands alongside his neck, over his shoulders and down his arms. If only he could wrap those arms around him, take a step back and stand in Kurt's embrace.

"Okay, all done." It was Kurt who took a step back to Blaine's disappointment. He could be mistaken, but Kurt looked flushed and was breathing heavier than normal. Maybe it was from running in the shop?

"Kurt, this is amazing. What was it called again?"

"A bowtie." Kurt breathed deeply and smiled at Blaine. "They have them in all sorts of colors."

"Can we go see?" Blaine grinned, exited.

"Sure," Kurt nodded. "But get changed into your own clothes first."

Blaine decided to make a bold move. "You just want me back in your pants."

Kurt laughed loudly and pushed Blaine inside the cubicle. "Get changed, weirdo."

…

"Okay, so go to this icon, and then just type the name in here." Kurt typed his own name in Blaine's phone. "Type your message here, and press send." Kurt's phone beeped from the table. "Okay, you try it."

Blaine fumbled with the device while slowly typing out a message on his phone. His very own phone. Sure he had seen them before, but he'd never actually owned one. He deliberated what he should send to Kurt. He wanted something light and maybe a little flirty, after what had happened earlier.  _I love you_ , would probably be a bit too forward, and  _I really, really like you_ , might be as well. He settled for  _you're amazing_ and pressed 'send'.

Kurt skipped to his phone and smiled brightly when he read the message. "Right back at you. Okay, I'm gonna answer, so you can open a new message, okay?"

Blaine nodded and stared at his phone, curious what Kurt was gonna send to him. It whistled (Blaine liked it better then the beeps) and he opened his new message.

_You look very handsome in your new clothes._

Blaine looked up to see Kurt staring at him, biting his lip nervously.

"Thanks, you really think so?"

Kurt nodded and walked closer to Blaine. "I do. You're the single most interesting kid I've ever met, believe me."

Blaine ducked his head and tried not to linger on the word 'kid'. Kurt had just told him he found Blaine handsome. That must mean something, right? You don't find your little brother handsome. He felt Kurt's fingers under his chin so he was forced to look into the other man's eyes. They were swirling with emotion, and Blaine couldn't keep his mouth shut. "You're beautiful."

Kurt flushed and bit his bottom lip, his eyes flickering to Blaine's mouth. Blaine instinctively licked at his lips.  _Would this be it? His first kiss? He really wanted it. He really wanted it to be Kurt. What should he do with his hands? Would it be okay to lay them on Kurt's sides?_  He flexed his hands a couple of times before taking the plunge and resting on of his hands on the small of Kurt's back, pulling the man closer to him. He could hear a sharp intake from breath coming from Kurt's mouth. This was going to be it, he was sure.

Until suddenly Kurt took a step back and turned abruptly. "Let's try making a phone call, okay?"

"Kurt?" Blaine looked at the other man confused. Was he so bad at reading the signs?

"Just take your phone, Blaine."


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine and Sky had been exchanging texts for several days, but none of the messages had been like the one that had popped up on his phone five minutes ago.

_Are you free on Friday evening?_

Blaine bit his lip.  _Was Sky asking him out? As a friend, or as more then friends? How could you tell? And how did you reply?_

He figured he could just ask Kurt, but Kurt might get curious, and ask him all sorts of questions Blaine wasn't sure he wanted to answer. He liked Kurt, a lot. Sometimes he was pretty sure Kurt liked him as well. Like when he styled Blaine's hair and would linger a little longer than necessary; when they watched movies and were sprawled all over the couch and each other; or when he had explained some electronic device, and Blaine would get it right the first time, Kurt looked at him with that look that he only rarely got to see. Other times however, Kurt was constantly referring to their age difference and how Blaine could be one of his students or a little brother. Sure, he could be either of those, but he wasn't. Five years wasn't that big of a difference, was it?

He was free on Friday; it's not like he had an active social life. It couldn't hurt to answer honestly, right?

_Yes, why?_

_Do you want to go out, like a date?_

He sucked in a deep breath.  _Did he?_  He wasn't sure. He liked Sky; they could talk easily. But spending a whole evening with him? What if Sky wanted to do something he didn't know? With Kurt it was safe. Kurt knew his background, and would help him without Blaine having to embarrass himself by asking. Yesterday, they had gone to the theatre for the first time, and when Blaine had jumped in his chair the first time something seemed to come at him through the 3D glasses, Kurt had merely chuckled and grabbed his hand to squeeze it reassuringly. He hadn't let go until the movie was over and the lights came back on.

"Hey, you look like the whole world is on your shoulders. What's up?" Kurt suddenly plopped down next to Blaine on the sofa.

This startled Blaine and he quickly shoved his phone in his pocket.

"Just, thinking."

"Ri-ight. About the meaning of life?" Kurt smiled brightly at him. Blaine was pretty sure he could get lost in those eyes.

"No."

"Come o-on, tell me," Kurt beamed at him. "We're friends, right? Best friends?"

Blaine nodded.

"See, you can tell me anything."

"Okay," Blaine breathed deeply. "Let's say, hypothetically, a boy gets asked out on a date-"

"You got asked out?" Kurt interrupted him.

"Hypothetically," Blaine repeated.

"Okay, right," Kurt nodded and frowned.

"So, a boy gets asked out on a date, but he's not sure what to say."

"Does this boy like the person who asked him out?"

Blaine shrugged. "Maybe, he thinks they could be friends, but… there's this other boy as well."

"Oh."

Blaine suddenly got nervous, but turned to look straight at Kurt anyway. "And he really, really likes this other boy, but he's not sure the other boy likes him back. What would you do?"

Kurt nodded and sighed deeply. "I'd say he'd needed to give the first boy a chance."

"Yeah?" Blaine frowned. "But what about the second boy?"

"I think the second boy likes him back a lot, but he's also very aware of the fact that they're not legally allowed to be together, that he's underage and could be his student."

"Kurt!" Blaine's heart skipped a beat. Kurt had just pretty much confessed he liked him.

"It's Sky, right?"

"Who cares about Sky?" Blaine answered. "I don't want him."

"Blaine," Kurt murmured and rested one of his hands on Blaine's cheek. "You could be my student…"

"So? It's just a number, Kurt. I turn 18 in a couple of months. You wouldn't be saying this if I were 20 and you 25."

Kurt sighed and shook his head softly. "Probably not, but you're not."

"I can wait, if that's it, I'll wait. I don't care." He didn't. He would wait three years to be with Kurt. Kurt was everything.

"No," Kurt whispered.

"Why?"

"Because you don't like me, Blaine. I'm the first gay person you met in your life. It's normal to have a crush on me. You like the idea of me."

"No, I don't. I like you."

"When I went to Dalton, there was this guy I ran into at a music store while going through some sheet music. He was the first gay guy I'd ever met."

"Kurt."

"Let me continue. He was the first guy I could really be myself with. I could say I thought Andrew Garfield was hot without anyone judging me, so naturally I fell for him. I gave him everything; he was my first boyfriend, my first real, not-forced kiss, my first time being intimate with someone. After graduation, he wanted to go to New York, and I wanted to stay in Ohio to become a teacher to help students that went through the same thing I did. Neither of us wanted to do the long-distance thing, so we broke up."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but Kurt shook his head and continued.

"I had heard about heartbreak. Weeks of crying your eyes out at the mere sight of something that reminded you of that person; gallons of ice-cream; being sure nobody would ever love you again. I tried to feel it. It sounds stupid, but I wanted to feel the heartbreak. Three days after he moved to New York I went over our pictures, but I never shed a tear; after a week I called Rachel, and we bought two cartons of Ben & Jerry's and watched Titanic together, and I didn't think of Chandler once. It was then I realized I hadn't loved him. I had loved the idea of him. I loved that someone cared for me; that someone sent me flowers; that someone sent me sweet texts; that someone wanted me. I never had that before, and I loved the attention, but I didn't love the boy giving it to me."

Blaine shook his head slowly. "It's not like that at all, Kurt."

"Trust me, Blaine, it is. Go out with this Sky and you'll see."

Blaine shook his head. It wasn't like that at all. He wanted to be with Kurt because he was Kurt, not because he was the first gay man he ever met. He could see the determined look in Kurt's eyes though, and he just knew he wouldn't be able to change Kurt's mind in this moment, but that was okay, he realized. He knew Kurt felt something for him, Blaine just needed to prove that he was worthy of someone like Kurt.


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine tried to look interested when Sky kept on talking about something called 'The Avengers'. At least, that's what he thought Sky was talking about. In any case, it had something to do with superheroes and 'Marl', again, if he remembered correctly. Blaine did his best not to sigh out loud. He did realize it was partly his own fault. After all, he had agreed to go out with Sky without revealing the truth about himself. He didn't want to be the poor Amish boy that was kicked out of his home. He just wanted to be Blaine.

His mind wandered to Kurt, and what he was doing. When Blaine informed him he was going out with Sky tonight, Kurt had nodded absentmindedly. Not exactly what Blaine was going for. After all, he only had agreed to this date in the hopes of making Kurt jealous. Sadly, he hadn't reacted in the way Blaine had hoped. Okay, so maybe his expectations had been a bit too high. Some part of him had hoped that as soon as he announced his date, Kurt would stand up, grab Blaine and kiss him senseless, declaring Blaine was his and nobody should touch him. That hadn't exactly happened. Kurt had told him to have fun in a flat tone and said he was going to grade some papers. It would have been so much more fun to sit on the couch next to Kurt with a book instead of listening to the endless blabbering of Sky.

"…and that is why Tony Stark is the sexiest superhero of Marvel, don't you think so?"

Blaine blinked. He was asked a question, and he had no idea what it was about. "Uhm, yeah sure."

"Blaine?"

They had arrived at Kurt's apartment. Relief flooded through him. He could go inside and curl up on the couch or on his bed, erasing the numbness from his mind with a good book or movie. With a bit of luck Kurt would still be awake, and they could spend some time together. Anything was better than this, even sitting silently next to Kurt if he was still grading. He suddenly noticed Sky was staring at him with a weird look in his eyes. His pupils were blown, and his lips slightly parted.

"I had fun tonight."

Blaine tried his very best not to raise his eyebrows. Tonight hadn't exactly been his idea of a fun night, but then again, no night away from Kurt was exactly fun. He sighed inwardly; he was in way too deep.

"We should do it again."

"Oh," stammered Blaine. No, they shouldn't. His eyes widened almost comically when he saw Sky licking his lips and leaning closer to Blaine while fluttering his eyes closed. Was he planning on kissing Blaine? On the first date? "Yes, well, I should get inside." Blaine stumbled backwards before Sky could lean in even closer.

"Oh, okay."

Blaine smiled tightly and tried to jam his key in the lock, which was a lot harder with someone staring at him.

"I had fun tonight."

 _Yes, we already established that. You had fun, I didn't._ Blaine made an imaginary air fist when he got the door to unlock.

"So I'll text you?" asked Sky, hopefully.

Blaine turned around and bit the inside of his cheek. Sky was sweet guy, and Blaine could see himself being friends with him if he could talk about something other than 'The Avengers'. It's just… that's all Blaine wanted, to be friends, nothing more. Sky didn't seem to have the same idea. "Sure."

…

Blaine frowned when he entered Kurt's apartment. Apparently Kurt had already retreated for the night. Some papers were lying crisscrossed over the kitchen table, like he had shoved them away in frustration. It must have been a particular poorly written paper to have that effect on Kurt. Kurt was nothing if not patient and understanding with his students, often staying late to help them understand a particular subject.

Blaine tiptoed through the kitchen, as not to wake his roommate, and grabbed the top paper. Coincidentally, it was Sky's, so he started reading. It didn't seem too bad to Blaine, but he wasn't the teacher of course. He noticed Kurt's laptop next to the abandoned papers and suddenly got struck by an idea. Kurt had explained this thing called 'Google' a couple of days before, saying if he wasn't around, and Blaine wasn't sure how to use a certain object, he could always use Google. He pushed a couple of buttons, and it popped back on. Doing as Kurt had showed him earlier, he opened Google. Deliberating what he should type, he sat down and stared at the screen. Going out with another man didn't seem to do the trick, so he needed tips to get Kurt to notice him. He slowly typed 'How to make a man jealous' and hit enter. He clicked the first link, and started reading over the guidelines. Make sure he has feeling for you; be active; flirt with other gu-

"Blaine?"

Blaine jumped, quickly closed the tab and turned around. "Kurt?"

"You're home early."

He couldn't help the tug that his stomach made when Kurt referred to it as Blaine's home. It was becoming his home. "I thought you were asleep."

"No, Just taking a shower. Got a little frustrated over some papers."

"Oh."  _Sky's paper. Could he be even the littlest bit jealous?_

"How was your night?"

Your night; not your date with Sky; not your evening with Sky; just your night. Should he lie and say it was amazing, hoping to make Kurt jealous in the process, or should he just tell the truth? "Meh." Blaine was never one to lie.

"Meh?"

Blaine shrugged. "We didn't really hit it off. Although I'm not sure he thought the same. He kept on rambling about these Avengers and I think he tried to kiss me."

Kurt's eyes widened, and Blaine could see his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed. "Kiss you?"

"I didn't let him," Blaine quickly continued. "I remember what you said about that first kiss being a big deal and all. How it should be with someone I love."

"Right, with someone you love," Kurt nodded and sat on the chair next to Blaine, pointedly avoiding his gaze.

"I want that, you know."

"What?"

"My first kiss to be with someone special."  _With you._

"I'm sure you'll get it."

Blaine looked at Kurt, hoping to convey his thoughts to the other man.

"I should work on my papers."

Blaine sighed and nodded. "I'm going to my room, read or something, so I don't disturb you."

"You never disturb." Blaine stopped halfway getting up. Kurt had said it barely above a whisper, so he wasn't sure he was supposed to hear it. It wasn't until Kurt turned to look at him and smiled sadly that he dared to breathe again.

"No?"

"Of course not. You know, I can grade these papers tomorrow. Let's get a movie and some snacks so we can turn your night around."

Blaine nodded happily. "What movie?"

Kurt looked him up and down and grinned. "I think you're ready for a new nickname, let's see  _The Lord of the Rings."_

Blaine frowned, not really getting what Kurt meant. What he did know was that  _The Lord of the Rings_  was part of a trilogy. He had seen the blu-rays on Kurt's shelf. Three movies meant a lot of time to spend with Kurt, and maybe even falling asleep on the couch against Kurt's side. Yes, his evening was looking considerably better already.


	10. Chapter 10

"Slowly release the clutch, and push slightly on the gas."

Blaine nodded and followed Kurt's instructions. He enjoyed his time at the garage, but he also wanted to learn. He wanted to know what people were talking about when they came in with questions. Most of all, he wanted to be able to drive a car. So when Kurt had offered to teach him, he had jumped at the opportunity.

"Okay, slowly."

Blaine gripped the steering wheel tightly, taking deep breaths.

"Calm down, you're doing fine. Okay, let go of the gas, push in the clutch completely and shift to second, then slowly let out the clutch and push the gas again."

Blaine nodded and lifted his right foot off the gas. He pushed the clutch, shifted to second and pushed back on the accelerator. The engine revved. Blaine shrieked and pushed hard on the brake, stopping them abruptly.

"Oh, God, Blaine are you okay?" Kurt looked over at him with concerned eyes.

"I'm sorry," said Blaine. His hands were still gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"It's fine, Blaine. We'll just start again."

Blaine groaned and rested his head on top of his hands on the steering wheel. "I can't do this. You just have to let me drive an automatic."

Kurt snorted. "We had this discussion. No way."

When Kurt had first offered to teach Blaine how to drive a car, the boy had readily agreed, but Kurt had refused to teach Blaine to drive an automatic, stating that if he worked in a garage, he should be able to drive a stick. Blaine had agreed, not realizing the big difference between the two, and jumping at any chance to spend more time with the other man. They had been trying for most of the day, but it was getting late in the afternoon and Blaine was tired.

"I can't do it, Kurt. I just can't."

"You can, Blaine. Look at all you did these last few months."

Blaine shook his head. "I can't do a thing. I'm just a stupid little Amish boy that barely knows how to survive among the English. I should just go back home and pretend I'm straight."

"What?"

"My mom was right."

"What did she say?"

"She said to use my Rumspringa as a way to get these feelings out of my system, to go and experiment for a while, and then come back to get baptized and married."

Kurt gaped at him.

"I never told you, did I?"

Kurt shook his head, so Blaine decided to tell him the story.

" _You're_ what?"  _Blaine's parents looked at him, aghast_

" _I'm gay. I like boys the way I'm supposed to like girls." Blaine stood in the kitchen, fumbling with the hem of his shirt._

" _You like… boys?" his mother asked for confirmation. "But it's wrong, the Bible says-"_

" _I know what the Bible says, Mom. I know, but…" Tears started to spill from his eyes. "…I can't help it. I can't change the way I feel. I'm sorry."_

" _But it's wrong!" exclaimed his father. "You can't be a homosexual."_

_Blaine trembled. What could he say to that? His own parents were disgusted by him. He didn't know what would happen. Surely, they wouldn't hurt him, right? Maybe they could look past this; maybe they could find a way to accept him. He was still the same person as before._

" _I—I don't know what to say," whispered Blaine. "I'm still me. I didn't change."_

_He looked at his mother with pleading eyes, willing her to understand. He was still the same Blaine that cooked meals with her, the same Blaine that worked on the land with his father, and then came home and spend his evenings with his mother in the kitchen._

" _I love you."_

" _Oh, sweetheart, we love you, too!" his mother responded instantly. "But this isn't right, it's a sin, and God doesn't love sinners."_

_Blaine nodded and swallowed away his tears. He wouldn't cry; he wouldn't break down._

" _We can fix this. We will help you," said his mother. "Look, you're young, and maybe you're not sure what you feel. You might be confused."_

" _I'm not, Mom."_

" _Have you ever acted on these homosexual feelings?" asked his father suddenly._

" _I—no! I wouldn't—Nobody deserves—" He wouldn't dream of acting on them. Not here, not in his community. He didn't wish anyone the same faith he was suffering._

" _Then you don't know what you feel."_

_Blaine let out a humorless chuckle and shook his head. "It's not like that. Would you ever want to kiss another man?" He looked at the horror-struck face on his father's face. "You haven't tried it, but you still know you don't want to do it. It's the same for me. I don't want to kiss a girl. I don't want to be with a girl."_

" _You are sure of this?" his mother asked again._

_Blaine nodded._

" _Well, son, you don't leave us with much choice here," said his father._

_Blaine looked at him with wide eyes that seemed to beg 'Please don't hurt me, please don't throw me out.'_

" _You will have to pretend."_

" _Pretend?" Blaine asked, confused._

" _If you want_  to be a part of our community; if you want to keep living with us; if you really believe in God; you will repress these feelings."

" _You mean, lie?" This wasn't right. The Bible said God didn't love liars either._

" _You can go on your Rumspringa, and use it as an outlet for your feelings," spoke his mother. "Then, when you come back we'll help you find a nice girl. Someone you can learn to love, as a friend if nothing else."_

" _You will need to control your feelings. You can't tell anyone about them, not even your future wife. If word got out—"_

" _I don't want that," Blaine cut off his father. "I don't want to lie. The Bible teaches not to lie."_

" _You have to learn to repress these feelings, Blaine. It's not right! It's the only option."_

" _No it isn't." Blaine shook his head. He hadn't known what to do before, but he did now. He didn't want to live a lie. He didn't want to pretend to be something he was not. He didn't have another choice. "I can leave."_

" _No!" cried his mother, almost hysterical. "You can't leave. You belong with us. You won't be able to live among the English."_

" _Maybe not," Blaine answered, "but if I have these feelings, maybe I'm not meant to be a part of this community. I have to go."_

" _He is right," his father said with a sad expression on his face. "If he is not willing to live by God's rules, he cannot be a part of this community."_

" _They can't shun him! He's not baptized." His mother was getting desperate._

" _I'm sorry, Mom. I love you."_

"So I packed my stuff and left," Blaine finished his story.

"But you're not shunned?"

"Technically, no. I was never baptized, so they couldn't shun me. I just chose to leave." Blaine shook his head. "You know what the weirdest thing is?"

Kurt shook his head.

"I left because I didn't want to lie. The Bible taught not only that homosexuality was a sin, but lying was also one, but ever since I left, I've barely given a thought about what the Bible- God – would say about my current lifestyle."

"It probably wasn't in your heart. You can grow up to be taught certain things, but it's a different thing to believe them with your whole heart. I grew up with my dad, who loves football more than anything else. He semi-forced me to watch games with him; he explained the rules a thousand times, 'til I could recite them in my sleep; he even convinced me to play; but it was never in my heart. I did all those things because it made my dad happy, not because I loved doing them. It's not the same as believing in God, but I think it's the same principle. It's not because you are taught something that you love it."

Blaine nodded. "I guess that makes sense, but like I said, my mom was right. I'm not able to properly function here. I can't learn."

"You can," said Kurt in a soft voice. "It just takes time. Look at what you can do already. You can use a microwave; a phone; a television; you make a mean cup of coffee! You're even learning how to drive a stick-shift. It takes some time. Most people had their whole lives to learn all those things, and you did it in couple of months. You're so smart, but you don't see it."

"You think I'm smart?" Blaine shifted his head so he was looking at Kurt. He didn't feel like it, but he wasn't going to pass up a compliment from Kurt.

"So smart. You're an amazing person, Blaine, and you're going to live an amazing life. You're going to fall in love, and show everyone that's it okay to love whoever you want; To be whoever you want to be, no matter where you grew up."

"I—" Blaine didn't know what to say. He had never wanted to kiss Kurt so much as he did right now, but he couldn't. Not with a tear-struck face in a cramped car. There was also the issue that Kurt probably didn't want to be kissed by Blaine, making him feel even more worthless.

"You can do whatever you want," continued Kurt. "Be with whoever you want. You can have all your dreams-"

"Stop it!" Blaine shook his head and opened his door, running out of the car.

"Blaine!"

He could hear the other door open and Kurt running behind him. "Blaine, please!"

He couldn't do it. He couldn't listen to Kurt saying all those wonderful things, only to have his dreams crushed later. He had to- he turned around and was almost knocked down by Kurt who had been catching up to him.

"Blaine!" Kurt was standing in front of him, breathing heavily and looking concerned. "Why did you run?"

"Because!" Blaine gestured around with his hands before wrapping them around his middle. "Because you're saying all these amazing things, and they aren't true! I can't be with whoever I want to be, because you won't let me."

"I won't let you?" Kurt looked heartbroken at this, but Blaine shook his head, stubborn.

"You won't, because I can't be with you."

"Blaine-"

"No, Kurt! You say I can have this amazing life; fall in love, but I can't, because you refuse to let me." Blaine was shivering. He was looking down to avoid Kurt's gaze, and his mind was reeling. Why would Kurt say all these amazing things, plant all these amazing images in his head, but then refuse to let them come true? "You say I can be with whoever I want, then why won't you be with me?"

"Blaine, I already told you, you like the idea of me-"

"I don't!" he cut Kurt off. "I don't like the idea of you; I like you. I love you." He was still avoiding the other man's eyes. "When you were talking about that life I could have, all I could see was you. You want to know my dreams? I dream of being with you. Having a home with you, not like we have now, an actual home, with one shared bedroom. For you to come home from work and wrap your arms around me; for me to come home from work and surprise you with flowers, just because; for us to fall asleep next to each other, and wake up in the middle of the night the summer all sweaty because it's too hot, but still refuse to let go of one another in our sleep; for us to go to those dinners at Burt and Carole's as a couple, holding hands; for you to admit that you want all those things, too. That's what I want, Kurt. You keep telling me I can have whatever I want, but it's not true, because I can't have you, so what's the point? I should go back to my parents and do as they suggested. Pretend."

"You can have me," murmured Kurt.

"What?" Blaine's head shot up, and he looked at Kurt. The other man was staring at him with big eyes. He was biting his lip, and shivering in the cold December weather.

"You love me?"

"I do, and I know you don't believe me, that you think I love the idea of you, but I don't. It's not because you're the first gay person I met, or because you helped me. I went on a date with Sky, and it was nothing like I feel when I'm with you. So it's not the idea of some guy I like, it's you! It's because you're you. I love you." Blaine felt relieved. Actually saying the words out loud lifted a burden off his heart.

"You love me." It was a statement that escaped from Kurt's lips this time, not a question.

"Yes, I thought we'd established that."

"No, I- You never said you loved me."

"Well maybe I didn't know. Maybe it was when you started saying all this stuff that I realized I did, because I wanted it all to be with you." Blaine was getting frustrated. He didn't know what to do. They couldn't go back to how they were before, him pining over Kurt and Kurt ignoring these feelings.

"We should go home."

"What?" Blaine looked up, confused.

"We should go home, come on."

It wasn't until he was back at the car that Blaine realized Kurt had grabbed his hand and didn't let go until he was sitting in the car, driving back home.


	11. Chapter 11

Blaine was dazed, sitting on the couch in Kurt's living room. He didn't know what to do, or what to think. Ever since his outburst earlier, everything had been a haze. Kurt had let go of his hand once they were in the car, but he could still feel it there. He could still feel how perfect their hands had fitted together.

Blaine bit his lip and stared at Kurt's bedroom door. The other man had disappeared inside it as soon as they got back. He hadn't said a word to Blaine, so Blaine assumed he didn't want to talk.

When he had told Kurt that he loved him earlier, he had felt relieved, like a weight had been lifted from his chest, but that weight was back in full force now. Not that he regretted saying it, never, but because Kurt obviously didn't feel the same way. He might have had feelings for Blaine, but they obviously didn't run as deep as Blaine's did for Kurt.

Muffled sounds came through the door, but he could only understand a word or a sentence here and there. He assumed Kurt had called his dad; the two were extremely close. He had discovered that over the last few months.

"Seventeen, Dad!"

"I don't know."

"Loves me."

Maybe they were discussing a new place for Blaine to stay. He knew Kurt, and even if his feelings didn't run as deep as Blaine's, there still were some, and he knew Kurt would never throw him out or leave him helpless. Maybe he was asking Burt if Blaine could stay with him and Carole for a while. Blaine could be okay with that. He understood that Kurt wanted to put some distance between them. He could live with that. If he could get by on his own for a while, if he could show Kurt that he wasn't just a seventeen year old kid who had decided to leave his home, but that he was mature, a hard worker, and that he could provide for them, maybe then Kurt would give him a chance. Maybe Kurt would give in to whatever he was feeling, and be with Blaine.

If there was one thing Blaine was sure of, it was that Kurt was it. There would be no one else for him. Kurt was, however ridiculous it might sounds, the love of his life, and if he had to wait until he was 18, 20 or even 30 before Kurt would see that, he would, because Kurt was worth waiting for. He was the sweetest, kindest man Blaine knew. He could see himself growing old with Kurt; having a family together; raising children. He wanted to tell Kurt all of that before, but he hadn't. He knew Kurt still saw him as a naïve 17-year-old, so he had refrained. He had told him parts of his fantasies, but not all of them. He had told him what he thought Kurt could take, what might make Kurt willing to give them a chance, but even that had been too much apparently.

"Blaine?"

Blaine's head shot up at the soft voice as Kurt made his way into the living room.

"I'm sorry for disappearing on you. I was freaking out and I had to talk to someone."

Blaine nodded. "Your dad."

"My dad," confirmed Kurt.

Blaine sighed. He wished he was the one Kurt would come and talk to.

"So…" Blaine raised his eyebrows quizzically. "What's the plan?"

"There's no plan, Blaine." Kurt sighed, making Blaine wonder what he had talked with his dad about. He had been sure Kurt would come with a solid plan of Blaine moving to Burt and Carole's until he could find another place to stay.

"You're not throwing me out?"

"What? No! Of course not!"

"Oh." Blaine's mind was coming up blank. He had no idea what was going to happen now.

"Blaine, I need you to understand I care about you, so much. You're my best friend."

Blaine smiled softly. "You're mine as well."

Kurt looked him straight in the eyes, making Blaine's heart skip a beat or two. "I called my dad, because I was freaking out. You told me you loved me, Blaine."

Blaine opened his mouth to respond, but Kurt shook his head. "Please let me finish?" So Blaine nodded.

"I told you about Chandler, so you know I've never been in love, and it scares me. It scares me so much." Blaine's eyes widened when he realized what Kurt was implying. "So I called my dad, and I told him everything. How you're the most amazing person I've ever met; how we've been dancing around our feelings—or well, I have—for a few months now; and how no matter what my brain tells me, my heart is taking over. I told him how afraid I was. The fact is still you're 17, a minor, even though you don't act like any of my students. If anyone found out it would cause a huge scandal. And what I'm even more afraid of, how you are so sure this is it for you. I don't want to hold you back. I don't do casual relationships; I want someone to share my life with."

"You're not holding me back."

"Blaine…"

"No, please, Kurt," pleaded Blaine. "Let me say this, and then I'll listen again. You're not holding me back. I don't want casual either. I told you, I want a home with you, a family." Maybe he was coming on too strong again, so he quickly changed subject. "I realize the age could be a problem for others, but if it's not for us, then that's all there is. We'll keep it quiet until I turn 18. I don't care; it's only three more months anyway, as long as I have you." He only hoped Kurt could see that.

"You wanna know what my dad said?"

Blaine nodded.

"He said that he was an extremely lucky man, not to have only found my mom when he was younger, but also to have found Carole years later. He said real love doesn't happen for everyone, and he was lucky enough to have it twice."

Blaine frowned at this. It was lovely to hear how happy Burt was with Carole, but he couldn't really see the point.

"And then he said that if I thought I found something similar, even if I wasn't sure yet, I shouldn't fight it, I should grab it, and never let it go."

"Kurt?" Blaine felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. His breathing started to become heavier, and he wasn't sure if he was dreaming or if the next sentence leaving Kurt's mouth was real.

"I tried fighting, but it didn't work, and earlier when you told me you loved me, all I could think was how much I love you, too."

Fireworks. It was like fireworks when he heard Kurt say those words. His smile broadened and his eyes shone brightly. He could feel Kurt setting his hand on his cheek, rubbing his thumb along his jaw line.

"We'll have to be quiet until you turn 18."

"Sure." Blaine leaned against Kurt's hand and closed his eyes.

"And I know this is stupid, and nobody except us will know, but I want us to keep everything above the waist until you are at least 18. If anyone finds out, I don't want them to have any more reason to go against us."

"Okay." Blaine could understand Kurt's reasoning, and even though he loved the man, he wasn't sure he wanted to jump in bed with him right away. He hadn't even had his first kiss yet. Speaking of which… "Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"You once told me my first kiss should be special, with someone I care about." He opened his eyes and was met with Kurt's staring right back at him. Kurt nodded, telling him he remembered. "Will you be my first kiss?"

"Gladly," came the murmured response, and before Blaine realized what was happening, Kurt's lips were pressed against his own. He was shocked, to say the least. He had not expected Kurt to agree so easily after everything. His lips felt soft and smooth against his own. He could feel Kurt putting a slight pressure in the kiss, and before he could react, the pressure and the lips were gone.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, confused. Probably because of the lack of response he had gotten. "Everything okay?"

Blaine slowly opened his eyes with a dazed look. He looked at Kurt's concerned face and smiled broadly. "I love you." With that he put on of his hands against the back of Kurt's neck to pull him back and connect their lips again. It was Kurt who was surprised this time, but he quickly caught on and started kissing Blaine back. It wasn't like before, where Kurt was tentatively pressing their lips together. No, this was way more. Their lips moved together this time, and Blaine captured Kurt's bottom lip between his and sucked softly on it, making Kurt gasp and push against him, his free arm circling around Blaine's waist, pulling them close together. Blaine pulled back for air after a moment, but Kurt groaned in protest and followed Blaine's lips, pressing their mouths back together instantly. When their lips met for the third time, Blaine was practically sitting on Kurt's lap, his mind blank except for one thought. This was one hell of a first kiss, and he couldn't wait to start scratching all his other firsts with Kurt off his list.


	12. Chapter 12

Blaine almost skipped to work the next day. Only the fact that his colleagues would see him and tease him mercilessly about acting like a five-year-old girl stopped him, but he couldn't help the broad grin that was plastered on his face.

"Morning, Blaine!" one of the mechanics yelled.

"Good morning, Anton," replied Blaine. "Isn't it a good morning? In fact, I would even dare to say it's a great morning!"

Anton frowned and looked at the rain pouting outside. "Whatever you say, dude."

Blaine suppressed the urge to giggle and settled down in the office, turning Burt's family picture a little to the left so he could see Kurt's face while he was working. Kurt... Beautiful, perfect, sassy, loving Kurt. Kurt, from now on also known as: Blaine's boyfriend. He squealed mentally and kicked his legs in excitement. He could still feel Kurt's lips on his own from this morning. Kurt had surprised him with that. After they had spent the better part of the evening yesterday getting acquainted with each other's mouths, they had gone to bed separately. Blaine knew that was the right thing to do, but he couldn't help imagine a future where that didn't happen, where they went to bed together and could keep exploring each other. Naturally, Blaine had spent the largest portion of the night tossing and turning, every so often squealing in excitement against his pillow to muffle the sound. In the morning Blaine had felt like he could take on the world, despite the three hours of sleep he had.  
For some, the morning after might be awkward, and Blaine had expected at least a little bit awkwardness, but there hadn't been any. Instead there had been meaningful glances over cups of coffee, not-so-accidental touches when they both grabbed the cornflakes, and bashful smiles when they took turns in the bathroom getting ready for their day. Nothing had been said about what happened the day before, and Blaine knew it was because it didn't need to be said. It just was. They weren't Blaine and Kurt, roommates and best friends, anymore. They were  _Blaine and Kurt_ , roommates, best friends, and boyfriends.

He knew Kurt wanted to take their relationship slowly, until Blaine was at least 18, and that was the reason Blaine had been so surprised when they both left for work. He had expected a little more than their usual waves and murmured see-you-tonight's. He had even dared to hope for a hug, but apparently that was not what Kurt had in mind, oh no. When it was time to leave, and they both had their jackets on, Kurt had grabbed Blaine and pressed him close, connecting their lips for a short moment. When he pulled back, Blaine was pleased to see Kurt was flushed and smiling broadly. He hadn't been able to help himself and murmured an 'I love you' to which Kurt had replied in a heartbeat.

Blaine bit his lips, but he couldn't help the small, exited laugh that escaped from his mouth.

"Happy?"

Blaine jumped slightly when Burt entered the office and sat down at his desk, turning his chair so he was facing Blaine.

"Uhm, yes… it's a good day, right?" Blaine frowned.  _That wasn't suspicious at all. Good job, Blaine._  He sighed inwardly. Keeping their relationship quiet might be harder than he anticipated, when all he wanted to do was shout it from the rooftops.

"So…" Burt said, with raised eyebrows.

"So?" repeated Blaine, trying to act innocent.

"Come on, tell me! I got a frantic Kurt on the phone last night, and now you show up at work all giddy. I'm not stupid, you know."

"Oh." Blaine wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't sure that keeping things quiet included Burt. "I'm not sure I can tell you."

"Kurt and I don't have any secrets, you know. Last night wasn't the first time he called me like that."

Blaine's eyes widened curiously. "What?"

"Oh, kiddo, Kurt has been head over heels for you since you arrived at his place. 'He's so sweet and innocent, dad, but so mature at the same time, I can't believe he's only 17.' 'We went shopping for clothes, it was so much fun.' 'I almost kissed him, Dad! I can't do that. It's wrong, he could be my student!' 'He's on a date! A date with this stupid kid from my school. He's on a date with one of my students, that's so not fair!' and then last night. 'He told me he loved me. He loves me, and I love him. I just can't ignore it anymore.'"

Blaine smiled slightly. Kurt loved him. He had to tell someone, and Burt was the closest thing he had to a parent at the moment. "He loves me," Blaine gushed. "He loves me."

"I know."

"After he talked to you on the phone he told me."

"I'm glad." Burt smiled at him.

"I love him, too, so much. I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me, that he loves me back."

"So you two are together now?"

"Sort of," Blaine answered. "I mean, yes, we are together, but we're not telling anyone until I turn 18, because Kurt is afraid of the reactions from the school."

Burt nodded. "That makes sense, but you'll turn 18 in a couple of months, right?"

"Three." Blaine frowned. "You're okay with this?"

"I'm ecstatic for both of you. Kurt was never this happy before you moved in with him. He deserves this."

Blaine smiled at that. He was glad Burt didn't seem to care for their age difference.

"Besides, in five years nobody will care about the age difference." Burt frowned. "I'm not assuming that you two—or suggesting… I just mean-"

"I know, I told him the same. I told him I'd wait if that's what he wanted."

Burt nodded. "Anyway, you're almost like a third son to me by now, so I'm happy you found someone who cares about you and I know will treat you right."

Blaine swallowed away the lump that was forming in his throat. Burt looked at him as a son. He missed his own parents terribly, but gaining a father-figure like Burt was almost easing the ache he often felt.

"Burt…"

"Yes?"

"I hope this doesn't sound weird or anything, but I love you. You're the only father-figure I have at the moment and yeah…" he trailed off

"I love you, too, kiddo, and if anything ever happens or you need to talk, I'm here, okay?"

"Thanks."

"I mean it, even if it's a fight between you and Kurt, I won't pick sides. You can come to me."


	13. Chapter 13

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" Blaine wasn't really paying attention. He was under Kurt's spell. Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. Kurt was all around him, half draped over him on the couch. One of his hands was trailing invisible patterns on Kurt's back, and Kurt's hand was tangled in his curls. He had spent the last half hour mapping out all the freckles and small spots on Kurt's jaw and neck.

"Blaine," Kurt whined when Blaine pushed the collar of his shirt down and sucked at a sensitive spot just above his collarbone.

"Kurt," came to hushed reply.

"Blaine, please, we need to stop."

Blaine hummed. Kurt was probably right, but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to push Kurt's shirt out of the way and map out his boyfriend's chest freckle by freckle.

"Just, a little more Kurt, please," he pleaded, rubbing his hand over Kurt's chest, his thumb accidentally brushing a nipple, which earned him a deep moan.

"No, Blaine, we really shouldn't," Kurt protested, but Blaine could hear his tone faltering. He sighed deeply and pulled back, knowing if he continued further, could would let him, but also that he would regret it later.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you."

"No, no, Baby, no. You didn't."

"Baby?" Blaine cocked his head and smiled curiously.

"You didn't push, we just really need to cool down before we can't stop anymore," answered Kurt, ignoring the nickname that had slipped out earlier.

"Okay, okay. You win."

Kurt smiled down at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too, but you're killing me."

"I'm sorry," Kurt chuckled. "It's for the best, you know that."

Blaine hummed and laid his head against Kurt's chest, smiling when the older man curled his fingers in Blaine's hair. He wasn't sure if he agreed, but he knew why Kurt needed the limit, so Blaine would respect that.

"Blaine," Kurt paused for a moment. "I've been thinking."

Blaine hummed.

"And I've talked to my dad, and he seems to think it's a good idea."

"What is?" Blaine's interest was prickled.

"I know you miss your family, and your home."

Blaine tensed slightly, but relaxed when Kurt pulled him closer. "You're my new home now," he confessed, and he knew it was true. For months he had still thought of his Amish home as home, but that had changed. Here, Kurt's apartment- Kurt was home now.

"I'm glad you think so."

He just knew Kurt was smiling broadly. He could practically hear it in his voice.

"But you still miss your family."

Blaine was silent. He couldn't deny that. He did miss them, but there was no way he was going back. Not now he finally had Kurt.

"So, as I was saying, I've been thinking, and maybe you could write them a letter?"

"A letter?"

"Yes," said Kurt. "I mean, you can't be sure they'd read it, but at the very least you can get your feelings out."

"I… yeah, maybe."

"I could help you."

Blaine nodded. He could write a letter, although he wasn't sure they would read it. It might give him some closure. "I never got to say goodbye to my brothers and sisters."

"I know."

"Okay, let's do it."

"Now?"

Blaine helped himself from the couch and looked down at a surprised Kurt. He shrugged. "I need something to get my mind of you, so why not?"

…

Blaine crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it across the room in frustration. "Let's just forget it I can't do this."

"Hey, shh, calm down." Kurt put his hand on Blaine's back and drew soothing circles. "What's wrong?"

"I just…" Blaine sighed deeply. "I don't know what to say."

"What do you want them to know?"

Blaine sucked his bottom lip in his mouth. "That I miss them."

"Let's start with that then."

Blaine nodded.

_Dear Datt and Mamm,_

_I miss you. I really do. I miss all of you: Rebecca, Judith, Sarah, Jeremiah, Matthew, and Christopher. I wish I could be with you a lot of the time._

"You can maybe tell them you got a place to stay and job, so they know you're safe." Kurt suggested.

_I got a great job, working in a garage. I'm not working on the cars, but Burt (he's my boss) promised to teach me someday. For the moment I manage appointments and receive customers. I like it a lot, and Burt has been extremely helpful and patient with me. He helped me to find a place to stay as well. I'm sharing an apartment with his son, who is a recently graduated teacher. It's different here, among the English, but I'm slowly adjusting._

"I want to tell them about you, how happy you make me," Blaine blurted out.

"If you're sure. Aren't you afraid they'll be angry at me? Like I'm keeping you here."

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment. Kurt was easily the best thing in his life at the moment. "No, I don't think they will. They weren't mad at me, they just said it wasn't accepted in our community, and I don't want to hide such a big part of my life from them."

_Kurt (that's the name of Burt's son) is amazing. He's been my rock here, and we've become extremely close. In fact, we're a little more than just friends. I know you won't approve, but I wanted you to know anyway, because I love him, and he deserves to be introduced to my family, even if it will only ever be by letter._

_I'll understand if you don't reply to me, but I hope at the very least you will read this and won't throw it away unopened._  
I love you all very much.  
\- Blaine

"Okay?"

Blaine leaned into Kurt's embrace and nodded. "Thanks." He meant every word of the letter. Kurt was his rock.

"Of course."

"Seriously, Kurt. You have been amazing. It's like you're in my head half of the time. I feel like you know me better then I know myself."

"Well, in that case I think I can call myself the better half of this relationship," said Kurt, teasingly.

"Definitely," Blaine agreed without hesitation. His eyes darkened slightly. "I love you."

Kurt smiled and pressed a short kiss against Blaine's lips. "I want to take you out on a date."

"A date?" Blaine frowned. They were keeping their relationship quiet, so going out hadn't occurred to Blaine. "Like outside?"

"Well, I know we're a little restricted, but I can work with that. Just say yes."

"Yes, of course yes. What did you think?"

"Okay, so I'll pick you up next Saturday around 2pm?"

Blaine, curious as he could be, smiled radiantly as he agreed. "Sounds great."

...

"So, how are you and Kurt?"

Blaine looked up to see Burt standing in front of his desk. He smiled shyly and shrugged. "Good."

"Come on, Kiddo, I know you can't gush about him at any of your friends here, so gush to me. I like to hear about the two of you."

Blaine bit his lip and tried to suppress a grin. "I—you don't mind?"

"Of course not."

"He's taking me out on a date this Saturday."

"A date? Really?" Burt raised his eyebrows quizzically. "I thought you two were keeping everything quiet until you turned 18?"

Blaine shrugged. "He asked me, and then refused to tell me anything about what he planned, but I couldn't say no."

"Of course not." Burt patted his back. "I'm sure whatever he has planned, it will be amazing. You know he planned Carole's and my wedding."

Blaine nodded. Kurt had shown him some pictures of it a few weeks ago.

"Anything else you want to talk about?"

Blaine frowned and looked curiously at Burt, who was staring back at him with an inviting expression on his face. He really wanted to tell him about the letter he wrote to his parents, but he also didn't want to burden Burt with his problems. The man was the closest thing to a father he had at the moment, and he didn't want to scare him away by telling how much he missed his actual parents. "I—I don't think so?"

"Kurt told me you wrote a letter to your parents."

"Oh." Of course Kurt told him. Hurt had mentioned he had discussed the idea with Burt prior to explaining it to Blaine, but it had slipped his mind.

"Look, I meant it, if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

Blaine nodded. "I just, I don't want you to think I'm not eternally grateful for you, but…"

"You miss them, of course. That's only normal."

"They're not bad people. They just… They believe in the Bible."

"I'm not saying they're bad, Blaine."

"I know, I just… I don't want people to talk badly about them. They love me, I know they do, and if the situation had be different… If the Amish were more like us... They might have even accepted me. I-" Blaine clapped his hand before his mouth in shock.

"Kiddo? You okay?"

Blaine shook his head frantically, realizing what he just had said.

"Blaine? Son?" Burt looked concerned.

"I… It's the first time I referred to myself as part of this world, as part of the English." He had always seen himself as Amish, and even though he had forsaken the lifestyle and his family, he still referred to that as home, but this time he hadn't, and it hadn't even been a conscious decision, it had just slipped off his tongue.

"You are part of us, Blaine. You're not Amish anymore, as hard as it might be for you to accept that."

"I know that, technically, but it still… in my head…"

"Hey, calm down. It's okay. It means you're feeling at home here, you're where you are supposed to be."

"I guess." Blaine bit his lip and closed his eyes. He had been referring to his and Kurt's apartment more and more as home lately, but really distancing himself from being Amish was weird and new.

"I have some news to distract you, if that's okay?"

Blaine nodded eagerly; he needed to get his attention focused elsewhere if he didn't want to break down in front of Burt. He could do that later in the privacy of his room.

"Okay, kiddo, follow me." Blaine jumped up, and followed Burt, who led him outside at the back of the garage, where a bright red pick-up truck was parked. "What do you think?"

"Uhm…" Blaine wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Even though he had worked in the shop for several months now, his knowledge of cars was still very limited. "It's very bright?"

Burt laughed loudly. "Yeah, but that's not the point. It's an old Chevrolet. I bought it from a acquaintance for a few hundred bucks."

"Okay?" Blaine still wasn't sure where Burt was going with this.

"It's old, but they don't make 'em like this anymore. I figured it was a great truck to teach you some stuff about cars."

Blaine turned his head abruptly.

"Figured we could rebuild the engine and fix it up together. It's a great learning experience for you."

"You bought this car just to teach me about mechanics?" Blaine was astonished. "Burt, that's too much."

Burt shook his head smiling. "It wasn't expensive, probably because of the state the engine is in. I'm sure I can make a nice profit from it once we fix it up. There's only one catch."

"What?" Blaine was still alternating glances between the car and Burt in wonder.

"I can't work on it during office hours. So we have to do this after work or during weekends."

"Of course, I didn't expect anything else, I mean-"

"Calm down," Burt patted Blaine on the back. "I figured you could stay late on Mondays, since it's Kurt's long day as well, and he could come over to have dinner at the house in the evenings. Maybe some other days as well, and every now and then a day on the weekend. What do you think? You're up for it?"

Blaine nodded eagerly. Not only would it improve his knowledge about cars, he could also have some bonding time with Burt, something he craved from the only paternal figure in his life.

"So, how about we start this Saturday?"

Blaine's face fell. "I'm busy… I mean, Kurt and I… this Saturday is-"

"I'm kidding, son. I'm kidding." Burt patted him on the back goodheartedly. "We'll start Monday, okay?"

Blaine nodded fervently. He could not wait.


	14. Chapter 14

"Okay, so tell me, where are we going?"

Kurt shook his head with a smile, staring at Blaine through the bathroom mirror. Both boys were getting ready for their first date, but since the apartment had only one bathroom, they were forced to do so together. Not that either really minded.

"Come on, Kurt. How will I know if I'm dressed appropriately?" whined Blaine.

"You…" Kurt placed a kiss against Blaine's temple. "Are… Adorable... and dressed perfectly."

This made Blaine smile bashfully. "No proper kiss?"

"Why, kind sir, I do not think that would be appropriate since we haven't been out on a date yet."

Blaine shook his head and turned back to the mirror to tie his bowtie. "You know I used to pretend I couldn't tie it, so you would do it for me?"

"I… really?"

Blaine nodded.

"So you seduced me by using clothes. Clever."

"I did not seduce you!" Blaine protested.

Kurt chuckled. "No, that's true. I was quite taken from the moment I saw you."

Blaine's eyes widened. "What?"

Kurt hummed. "The moment you walked into my apartment I fell for you. I tried to restrain myself, but well, we both know how that worked out."

Blaine grinned. "Okay, I'm done."

"Good, come on." Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and led him to the living room. "Wait here."

"Okay?" Blaine frowned when Kurt disappeared through the door into the hallway. He didn't really know what to expect, or why Kurt had walked outside, but he trusted him. He was even more surprised when he heard a knock on the door. Maybe Kurt forgot his key when he rushed outside?

"Hi," said Kurt, smiling broadly.

"Hi?"

"Are you ready?"

"I just told you that two minutes ago."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I just arrived to pick you up." Kurt smiled playfully.

 _Oh._  Realization dawned upon Blaine. Kurt was pretending to pick him up.

"I hope I'm not being too forward, but I brought you a little something."

Blaine barely had time to realize Kurt was holding one hand behind his back before he conjured a bouquet of flowers. He gasped in surprise. "When did you get those?"

"I picked them up on my way over here." Kurt winked.

"Well then, let me get a vase, and we can get going."

….

"Kurt?" Blaine looked around him confused. They were at the garage, and Blaine could not think of any reason why they would be here.

Kurt merely shook his head and opened the door, grabbing Blaine's hand and leading them to the office where he usually worked. Blaine gasped when Kurt pushed open the door, revealing the room transformed completely. His desk was pushed to the side, and a red and white checkered blanket was put in the middle of the room. In the middle of that blanket was a basket. Blaine couldn't see what was in it, but he could only assume it was food. Around the walls were candles flickering, leaving the room in a dimly-lit glow.

"A picnic?"

Kurt nodded. "Is that okay? Ideally I would have done this outside, but since it's freezing…"

"No, Kurt, it's… It's perfect. How did you do all this?"

"Well, I have to give some credit to Carole, who helped me prepare the food and lit the candles."

"So this is where you disappeared to this morning? I knew you weren't really going for a morning walk. You're the laziest person I know. You won't get out of bed unless you absolutely have to." Blaine shook his head. Kurt had gotten up early on his day off to prepare this for them. He could hardly believe it.

Kurt shrugged in response. "Come, sit with me." Kurt sat cross legged in the middle of the blanket. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a proper date in a fancy restaurant, but I-"

Blaine fell on his knees next to Kurt, grabbed his face, and pressed their lips together roughly, cutting him off mid-sentence. He could feel Kurt's surprise, but the man melted instantly in his embrace. He opened his mouth and let his tongue swipe briefly over Kurt's bottom lip before pulling back. "I love you. I'm sorry if I say it too much, but I love you so much. Kurt, this is perfect. I don't want a fancy restaurant; I wouldn't feel comfortable there anyway. I just want you."

Kurt nodded breathlessly.

"So, what did you make for me?" Blaine eyed the basket curiously.

…

"So, am I the type of person that would invite you in for coffee after a first date?" Blaine asked teasingly when they arrived at the door of their apartment.

"I think you are," said Kurt, nodding fervently. "I think you're the type that has a roommate with a fancy coffee machine, so you'd like to brag and make your date a delicious cup of coffee to show off."

"You might be right." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand lead him inside. "I'm an expert coffee maker, what do you want?"

"A grande non-fat mocha, please."

Blaine blinked.  _Right, he knew how to make that. He was sure Kurt had explained it at some point. He just had to remember._

"I'm kidding, Sweetheart," Kurt said, chuckling. "That's a Starbucks order. Just make me my regular."

Blaine shook his head and started the machine. Making coffee had sort of become his habit. He would make it for both of them in the morning, when Kurt was rushing to get ready in time. It would be their quiet five minutes before both had to leave for work. Not much was said during that time usually. They would just sit next to each other and sip from their cups. Since they had started dating they had ended up sitting closer together though, often entangling their legs or hands.

"I love this," Kurt commented.

"Seeing me work?"

Kurt laughed. "Yes that too. No seriously, I love this." He gestured between them. "Us, having coffee together. It's kind of our thing, right?"

Blaine ducked his head with a shy smile and sat down next to Kurt, handing him his cup.  _They had a thing. Something that was them._

Kurt moved his chair so he was sitting closer to Blaine and grabbed his hand, kissing his knuckles. "I hope we will be able to do this for many years to come."

Blaine looked up into Kurt's eyes with a hopeful expression. Kurt was talking about their future together.

"I'm sorry; I'm getting ahead of myself. This is only our first date after all."

Blaine shook his head. "You're not. This, you and me. I'm in, Kurt. I'm all in."

Kurt bit his lip and looked away. Blaine could almost see what was going on in his head.

"I'm not seventeen, Kurt. Not really. Theoretically it's my age, but it's just a number. Growing up where I grew up, it's different. I'd been working for years before I left them. It's not like I'm some naïve high-school student."

Kurt turned his head back to Blaine with a soft smile. "I know, but my head and my heart have different opinions sometimes."

"I'll prove it to you," Blaine assured him. "I'll prove that I'm worthy of you."

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Blaine. I'm so in love with you, it scares me sometimes. I'm scared I'm falling way too hard way too quickly. I'm scared you'll change your mind after all, even though you've told me several times you won't. I'm just…scared. I've never felt this for anyone, ever, and it scares me."

Blaine nodded. "You think I'm not?" He closed the little space left between them. "I'm scared beyond belief at the idea that you can crush me with one simple word or deed. I'm scared you'll go away, or all of this is just a really great daydream, but then I think of what I would feel if you weren't here; if I didn't have you, and it scares me even more. The idea of not being with you, it's too much to even properly think about."

Kurt closed his eyes and pressed a fleeting kiss against Blaine's lips. Blaine smiled against Kurt's lips.

"Do something for me?"

"Anything," Blaine replied instantly.

"Sleep with me?"

Blaine pulled back slightly and swallowed audibly. "I thought you said you didn't want to do anything until I was eighteen." It's not that he didn't want that with Kurt, he did. It was just, sudden.

"No, I mean- just lay with me, hold me. We don't even have to go to the bedroom, the couch would be fine. I just want to hold you; I want to know you're there."

"Okay," Blaine breathed. He could do that.


	15. Chapter 15

"Blaine."

Blaine turned around to find Kurt sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard on what Blaine liked to call 'Kurt's side of the bed'. They didn't sleep together, but every now and then one of them would wake up early and shuffle over to the other one's room for some lazy morning kisses and cuddles. Lately, these mornings had started to occur more and more, and Blaine couldn't say he minded.

He threw and arm around Kurt's legs and attempted to bring the man closer. "Sleep, baby. 'm tired," he murmured, pressing his head against Kurt's calves.

"I had to pee, and then I couldn't get to sleep so I wanted to make you breakfast, but when I looked outside I saw the mailman, so I decided to get the mail first and then-"

"Kurt you're rambling. Just, come back to bed, sleep. I don't need breakfast, only you." Blaine was waking up little by little and starting to become more aware that Kurt was in his bed. Beautiful, sexy Kurt. He was turning 18 in a little over a month, and he couldn't wait. He wanted more; he wanted it all. He loved their lazy morning make-out sessions, but there were moments when he tried to push the boundaries even a little bit by lingering touches that crawled lower and lower, or accidentally pressing their hips together. He knew he wasn't the only one affected by this; he had felt Kurt's arousal more than once, but so far that was all that had happened.

"Blaine, there was letter for you. I think it's from your parents."

Well, that was sufficient to kill Blaine's mood. He shot up and stared wide-eyed at his boyfriend.

"What?"

"It's from your parents."

"They replied?"

Kurt nodded and handed the letter to Blaine who accepted it with shaking hands.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Kurt asked softly.

Blaine didn't respond instantly. He turned the envelope around a few times, staring at the address and handwriting. His mother's. "What if they say not to contact them again; that they don't want to hear from me." He wasn't sure he would be able to handle that. He had chosen to leave his former home.. Even though a lot of people seemed to disagree, they hadn't forced him out; he had the option to stay, but if they rejected him now, that was it. He would be cut off from his family forever. It had been weeks since he had sent his own letter, so he had not even expected a reply anymore.

"Don't you think they wouldn't have replied at all if that was the case?"

"Maybe they're afraid I would keep sending letters otherwise?"

"If you're not ready to open it you don't have to," Kurt murmured. "But I think opening it would give you some peace of mind."

Blaine sighed and nodded. "You'll be here with me, right?"

"I'd read it for you, but I'm afraid I wouldn't understand a word they've written."

Blaine chuckled softly, took a deep breath and ripped into the envelop. He opened the letter and skimmed it over quickly. Kurt was sitting quietly next to him, rubbing soothing circles on his upper leg. "It's okay."

"Yes?" Kurt sounded hopeful.

Blaine nodded, his eyes tearing up slightly. "I'll translate it for you."

"Only if you're willing to share," Kurt said softly. "No pressure."

"Kurt, you've shared your whole life with me. I want to share what's left of mine with you as well."

"We're having a life together now," answered Kurt.

Blaine smiled at the sentence. He really wanted to share the letter with Kurt.

_Dearest Blaine,_

_We were very happy to hear from you. Although we are not supportive of your life choice, we are still your parents, and we still love you, that much has not changed.  
From the sound of you letter, you have settled well among the English, and are turning into one of them. We are glad that you are happy, and have found a supporting family there._

_You'll be delighted to hear your sister, Rebecca, got married last November. You don't know her husband. He and his family live over an hour away from our farm. She has moved a couple villages away. We informed her of your letter, which is part of the reason we have taken so long to reply. Since your brother is married, and your sister has moved away so far, we have decided to start a circle letter. Both your brother and sister have agreed to include you in this if you are willing._

_I hope you remember the concept. You may expect a letter from your brother soon. This will include an address list. I start the circle by sending a letter to Jeremiah, since he's the oldest. He will then include his own letter and send it to you. You will get to read both our letters, include your own and send it to your sister. She will then include her letter and send it back to me. I will then read all of your letters, take my old one out and put a new one in, sending it off to Jeremiah again, to start the circle again._

_I'm happy you are happy Blaine. You are my son, and will always be in my heart._

_Love, Mamm and Datt._

"That's good, right?"

Blaine bit his lip. "I think so." He got a part of his family back, but part of him wasn't too sure. "I… I know this sounds silly, because this is the best letter I could hope for, but part of me feels like it would be better if they had totally cut me off. This way I get to hear from them, but I'll probably never see them again. It's like someone says, 'here you can have a lick of the ice cream, but not all of it'."

Kurt nodded. "You have time to think about it. If you decide you don't want to be a part of this circle letter, you just put that in a note and send it to your sister. You have a choice here."

Blaine nodded. He did have a choice, but he wasn't sure what the right one was.

…

"So, I guess Kurt told you about my parents' letter?" Blaine asked Burt a few days later when they were working on the truck.

"He mentioned you wrote to them, yes. I'm glad you decided to do so; I'm sure they'll be happy to hear you are doing okay for yourself."

"He didn't tell you they replied?"

Burt looked up with a surprised look on his face. "No, he didn't. That's great though, isn't it?"

Blaine shrugged. "I thought Kurt told you everything." he said, subtly trying to change the subject.

"Kurt and I are very close, and we tell each other a lot, but some stuff is private. He told me you wrote your parents a letter, but not what was in it, all though I assume he knows." Blaine nodded in confirmation. "He respects your privacy. Some stuff is just between the two of you, but I'm there if you want to talk about any of it."

Blaine pondered for a moment. As much as he wanted to be an adult and prove he could take care of himself, he really needed some advice on this. "They said they wanted to write to me. Start a circle letter with my married siblings."

"A circle letter? Is that where you send the same letters to everyone until it gets back to the first person."

Blaine hummed in agreement.

"Well, that's good, right? They want to hear from you."

"I don't know. It's not like I'll ever get to see them again, so why would I keep in touch?"

"You don't know that though," Burt argued.

"They made it very clear they don't approve of my lifestyle," Blaine answered grumpily.

"Yes, but even though they don't, they still want to hear from you. I'm not too well educated on the Amish lifestyle, but I'm afraid if you're looking for approval, you're in for a lot of disappointment. However, if you are just looking for acceptance, this might be the first step." Burt put his tools aside and sat down on a stool. "It's a lot to take in for a parent, especially if you didn't expect it. I had suspected Kurt was gay since he was three years old, but when he came right out and told me, it was still a lot to take in. Not because I didn't accept him, or approve, but because I knew it would cause him a lot of heartbreak and problems. In your case, your parents probably didn't see it coming, and you left the same day. They discovered a very big aspect of their son's life, and lost that same son at the same time, but I think this is their way to let you know they're trying. They might not be ready to see you right away, but that doesn't mean it won't change in the future."

"That… actually makes a lot of sense."

"And even if they don't, I know that if something were to happen between me and Kurt, and he'd only want to communicate with me through letters, I sure as hell would grab the opportunity with both hands. Whatever you decide to do, know you're not alone. You have me, and you have Kurt."

Blaine nodded.

"On a happier note, I think the car is nearly finished." Burt stood up and changed the subject, for which Blaine was grateful. He had a lot to think about, and discuss with Kurt.

"Want to take it out on a drive tomorrow?"

Blaine looked up surprised. "Weren't you going to sell it?"

Burt shrugged. "It's a solid car. I can teach you how to drive with it and still sell it afterwards."

"Yeah, sounds great." Blaine swallowed, hoping his second try at driving would go better then the first, even though he really liked the outcome of his previous attempt.


	16. Chapter 16

"Good morning," a chipper Blaine said when he walked into the kitchen, breathing in deeply when the smell of fresh baked goods hit him. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Depends on what you think it is," Kurt answered without turning away from the stove.

Blaine stepped closer to his boyfriend –boyfriend! The word still made his insides clench pleasantly- and wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind, burying his face in Kurt's back and breathing in deeply. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's delicious."

Kurt melted in Blaine's embrace. He turned the stove off a few moments later, put whatever was in the pan on a plate, and turned around in Blaine's arms, bringing them chest to chest. "Morning," he said softly before pressing their lips together swiftly.

"Hmm, I would ask why you are up so early on a weekend, but I'm so hungry I really don't care," Blaine replied after they broke apart.

Kurt chuckled and untangled his arms from Blaine's neck. "You really can't guess?" He turned around again and took the plate to the table. "I made us crepes."

"Crepes?" Blaine frowned and sat down next to Kurt. "And no, I have no idea. I'm usually the one that's awake first."

"It's sort of European pancakes," explained Kurt as eh put them on their individual plates and showed Blaine how to fill them.

"This is delicious!" Blaine exclaimed after the first bite. "But tell me, why are you up so early? You don't have to go to school for tutoring, do you?" Blaine's face fell at that thought. He loved how passionate Kurt was about teaching and helping his students, but he wasn't too fond when Kurt went to the school on his free days to help students. He preferred to spend their weekends together.

Kurt shook his head, his eyes sparkling. "I can't believe you don't know."

"Tell me!" Whatever it was, Kurt wasn't spending the whole day at school, so it couldn't be too bad.

"It's your birthday weekend," Kurt squealed, shifting in his stool excitedly.

Blaine paused, his fork halfway to his mouth, and frowned. "No it isn't."

"It is," Kurt insisted.

Blaine shook his head slowly. "You're wrong; my birthday is next week Wednesday."

"Technically." Kurt rolled his eyes. "But we both have to work then, so I've declared this your birthday weekend."

"Oh." Blaine nodded. He knew he should be excited about this; after all, his 18th birthday was the timeframe Kurt had set to keep their relationship non-physical. After Wednesday, they could explore each other however and wherever they wanted, really and truly be together, but he couldn't help the melancholy that swept over him. This would be the first birthday without any of his family members.

"I wanted to organize you a huge surprise party with my family and your friends from work, but my dad reminded me that you might miss your own family too much then, so I changed my mind. I'm planning, however, to do that for your 21st birthday."

Blaine couldn't help but smile at the mention of his 21st birthday, still far away in the future, but the expectation of them still being together by then was there, and he liked that.

"That is, I mean I'm sure we'll still be – I don't expect us to," Kurt was mumbling, trying to cover up that last sentence.

"I know, Kurt. I know. It's fine." They didn't need to discuss this now, but Blaine knew they would some point in the near future. He might sound naïve, but he truly expected to still be with Kurt by his 21st birthday, hopefully with, at the very least, an engagement ring on his finger.

"Right." Kurt cleared his throat. "Anyway, the reason I'm up is because I have to prepare your surprise for tonight, and I wanted us to spend some time together before I had to leave."

"Oh?" Blaine looked up, curious.

"It's a surprise, so I'm not telling you anything."

Blaine pouted.

"Nope." Kurt grinned. "Just, be ready by 5, okay?"

"What should I wear?" Blaine frowned.

"Something comfortable."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "I need more than that, or I might show up in sweatpants and a sweater."

Kurt shrugged. "That sounds perfect, actually."

Blaine blinked wordlessly. That might have been the first time Kurt approved of wearing sweatpants.

Kurt smiled. "You'll see. Just make sure it's something warm."

…

Blaine followed Kurt down the stairs silently. In order to tease his boyfriend, he had indeed dressed in sweatpants. He had hidden a proper outfit in his bedroom, but when Kurt had showed up in sweatpants himself he had forgotten about that because of the shock. Granted, they were Adidas, but still, seeing Kurt in sweatpants for their date was enough to seriously confuse Blaine about what they were doing. Since he would be turning 18 next week, he had expected this to be an official first outing, like a fancy restaurant or something.

"Kurt?" Blaine frowned at the bright red pick-up truck parked in front of their building. Kurt was dangling the keys in front of his nose with a big smile.

"My dad says happy birthday."

Blaine's mouth fell open.  _Burt was giving him the truck? That was… No, he couldn't_ —"I, Kurt I can't accept, I mean-"

"He says you can't argue, because this was his idea since he bought it. Also, close your mouth, before a bird nests in it."

He did as Kurt said and grabbed the keys, too excited to think straight. "It's mine? Really?"

Kurt nodded excitedly and pushed Blaine towards the driver's side. "Get in, so you can drive us."

Blaine stepped in, still at loss for words.  _Burt had given him a car for his eighteenth birthday. A freaking car._ "Kurt, I have to call your dad, this is, it's too much. I can't… I mean…"

"It's a gift Blaine, just accept it. You can thank him tomorrow, because now it's time for my gift, although I can promise you it's nowhere near as big as this one."

Blaine shook his head. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"Of course I did! Don't be ridiculous. Now get driving."

…

"Hush, Blaine. It's your birthday and I'm your boyfriend; I'm allowed to surprise you."

"But I just don't get it." Blaine pouted. "We left civilization at least 30 minutes ago."

Kurt merely hummed in response.

Blaine sighed and frowned. He sincerely hoped Kurt didn't have any grand plans of reuniting him with his family. Although the idea appealed to him, he knew neither he nor his family was ready for that. He had exchanged a few letters with them, and although they tried, he could just feel the awkwardness rolling of the paper when he mentioned Kurt, but Kurt wouldn't do that without consulting him first, right? They were driving in the direction of his old home, even if it was still many hours away. He had to know. "Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"It's not—we're not—you didn't…"

"Blaine, love? Just spit it out."

Blaine swallowed and blurted. "Please tell me we aren't going to see my parents."

"What?" Kurt looked confused. "I, no, Blaine, no."

"Okay," Blaine breathed in relief.

"Turn left on the next intersection," Kurt directed softly. "Is that, is it something you want to do? Visit your parents, I mean."

"No," Blaine shook his head. "Not now. Maybe someday, but not at the moment." He turned as Kurt had directed.

"Straight ahead and left again at the end of the road."

Blaine followed Kurt's instructions while he tried to explain himself. "It's not that I don't want to see them, but I don't think any of us is ready for that. They don't approve of us, not really; they merely accept that this is how it is. They avoid the subject mostly."

Kurt nodded. "Stop here."

Blaine did as he was told and stopped the truck. He killed the engine and turned to look at Kurt. "If I ever go back to them, I want you to come with me. I want them to know that this isn't just a phase, and you are the person I want to spend my life with."

Kurt smiled and grabbed Blaine's hand, pressing a kiss against his knuckles. "I will come with you."

"Good."

"Good," Kurt replied, never breaking their eye contact.

Kurt let the silence stretch for a moment before he said cheerfully, "How about we save the serious conversations for later and start your birthday celebration."

"Okay," Blaine breathed. "Where are we?"

"Lake Loramie State Park."

"Are we going camping?" Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"You'll see."

…

"Kurt?" Blaine had his arms wrapped around his torso and looked as his boyfriend got stuff from the bed of his truck.  _His truck_. That sounded weird, but oh so cool. "Kurt I don't want to be a brat or anything, but what are we doing here? It's cold, and I don't see a tent or anything warm in that bag you pulled out of the bed."

"Just give me a minute, okay?"

Blaine nodded and looked around him. They were literally in the middle of nowhere. At least it looked that way. Blaine knew that they were in a state spark, but it was practically abandoned. Blaine thought he saw another truck a few miles back when they were driving towards the spot Kurt had reserved, but he wasn't sure, it could have just been somebody working here.

"Hey, come here," Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and gestured to the blanket he had put on the ground. "Can you do something for me?"

Blaine nodded.

"Just, look at the lake, okay? I have to arrange some things, but I don't want you to see."

Blaine agreed and sat down with his back to the truck and Kurt. He made a pleasantly surprised noise when Kurt draped another blanket around his shoulders. He felt Kurt press a kiss against his cheek and smiled. "I'll keep you warm later, but for now the blanket should help you."

"Okay," Blaine looked over the lake and let out a happy sigh. It was beautiful here, and it was only him and Kurt, for the whole evening. It made him feel giddy with expectation.

After half an hour, he started feeling warmer, so he let the blanket fall off his shoulders and smiled. He had suspected it earlier from the smell of it, but now he felt the heat as well, he was pretty sure Kurt was making a campfire.

"Okay, turn around," Kurt said.

Blaine stood up and did as he was told, he gasped as he turned around. There was small campfire, and at the back of it, so they would face the lake, was a picnic blanket and basket.

"I tried to recreate our first date like it should have been."

"Kurt…" Blaine was at loss for words.

"Happy birthday." Kurt grinned and grabbed Blaine's hand, leading him to sit down on the blankets. "We'll have dinner in a minute, but first, your present."

"Another one?" Blaine shook his head. "Kurt, you didn't have to. This is already too much."

Kurt silenced him with a quick kiss. "You don't get to argue; you just have to enjoy."

"Hmmkay," Blaine murmured with a love-struck look on his face. He couldn't believe Kurt had done this all for him.

"Now, I've spent ages thinking about this. I wanted something you could use, and that wasn't too, well, …too much, too soon."

Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"I might have thought about buying you a ring, but then I figured that would be too soon," Kurt mumbled under his breath.

Blaine chuckled. "Like a promise ring?"

"Hmmaybe." Kurt turned around, avoiding the subject.

Blaine bit his lip, trying to suppress a chuckle. He loved that Kurt thought about something so big for his birthday. He would have loved a promise ring from Kurt, but he agreed it might be a little early for that, since barely anyone knew about their relationship.

"So… here you go."

Blaine accepted the package Kurt handed him and carefully unwrapped it. He opened the lid and gasped. Inside the box was a beautiful black watch.

"Kurt!"

"Do you like it?" Kurt sounded nervous.

"I love it, thank you!" he pressed a kiss against Kurt's lips.

"I'm glad."

Blaine smiled and fastened it around his wrist. "Look, it fits."

Kurt chuckled before taking a deep breath. "I want to ask you something as well."

"Okay?" Blaine looked curious.

"Next month, like you know, the school year ends, and a group of teachers decided to have a sort of 'an end of the school year celebration dinner'. It's not with the whole staff, just some of us who get along fairly well."

Blaine cocked his head and raised his eyebrows quizzically. He looked down where Kurt had grabbed his hand and was squeezing it lightly.

"Partners are invited as well… so I was hoping you'd come with me?"

"I… Really?" Blaine looked surprised. "Aren't you afraid of what they will say?"

"Yes," Kurt confessed, "but I don't want to hide you. They're my friends, so I want you to know them, and I want them to know you. You're important to me Blaine, and I don't want to hide you from everyone anymore. I want them to see how happy you make me."

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine gushed. "Of course I'll come with you. I love you!"

Kurt grinned broadly. "I love you, too. Now, let's eat!"


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Blaine smiled and shuffled a little closer to Kurt so their noses were practically touching, his arms sliding around Kurt's waist, his hands slipping under Kurt's shirt and caressing the soft skin there.

After their picnic dinner and several hours of exchanging sweet and slow kisses by the fire Kurt had announced it was time to go to bed. Blaine had frowned, since they didn't have tent or a cabin close by, and he had assumed they would be driving back home tonight. That was when Kurt had revealed the last surprise of the evening, and opened the bed cover that was attached to the bed of his truck. Underneath was an air mattress, covered by numerous blankets and pillows, making a comfortable-looking nest. They had climbed in, Kurt before Blaine so he could give the smaller boy a hand and pull him up, and settled under the mountain of blankets Kurt had brought to keep the cold away.

Kurt returned the smile and brought one of his hands up, wrapping his fingers in Blaine's curls. He pressed a quick kiss against Blaine's lips. "Are you cold?" he whispered.

Blaine shook his head and pressed their lips back together for another peck. "No, actually I'm getting quite warm."

"Good."

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks, for tonight. It was perfect."

Kurt bit his lip and let his eyes flicker to Blaine's lips for a moment. "The night isn't over yet."

"Oh," Blaine breathed.

"Just tell me when you get uncomfortable, okay?"

Blaine blinked. Was Kurt suggesting what he thought? He swallowed and nodded silently, and before he knew it Kurt's lips where pressed against his own. It wasn't one of their slow, sweet kisses, like the ones they shared before. This was urgent. Kurt's tongue was licking his way into Blaine's mouth, earning him a soft moan from Blaine. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing deeply, battling for dominance with their tongues and lips, until Kurt moved closer, pressing their bodies flush together.  
Blaine couldn't help the deep moan that escaped from his mouth when he could feel Kurt's arousal against his own hips. Blaine was always greatly affected by these make-out session they frequently had, causing a lot of embarrassing situations and awkward moments where they tried to laugh it off. He was still a teenage boy, after all. Seeing the way that Kurt seemed to be just as affected by this as he was created a whole new rush of feelings. He was the reason for this; he was the reason Kurt was hard and currently rubbing himself against Blaine's thigh. His mind blanked, and on instinct he angled his hips so that his own erection pressed against Kurt's. Kurt moaned and bucked his hips in response.

"Kurt, Kurt, wait," Blaine panted, stilling his hips.

Kurt pulled back slightly with questioning eyes. "I'm sorry. Too much?"

"No. God, no," Blaine laughed breathlessly. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?"

Kurt bit his lip bashfully and Blaine chuckled. He had been pretty obvious during their make-out sessions most of the time.

"I just— I thought we were going to wait? 'Til I was 18 at least?"

"I know, I just… I love you, Blaine, and I don't want to wait anymore. Who cares for those three days?

"Are you sure? I don't want you to regret this in the morning," Blaine said, feeling very vulnerable. He wouldn't know what to do if Kurt turned him down now.

"I could never regret you, however cheesy that might sound. I set that rule because I didn't want to jump into things, but I don't want out first time being intimate being forced either. I don't want it to be like 'oh, you're 18 today, let's jump into bed now'."

Blaine nodded, understanding what Kurt meant. "Can we, maybe lose some of the clothes?" He mumbled, suddenly unsure of his words. He didn't want to come over as the as the obviously innocent boy he was. "I just—I want to feel you if we're going to do this—I mean, not feel you like that, well I do want that—No, I just mean, like our shirts or something?"

"Blaine, stop babbling," Kurt interrupted him.

Blaine pressed his lips together tightly.

"Come here," Kurt murmured, pushing Blaine's shirt up and over his head before doing the same thing himself. "Better?"

Blaine swallowed and nodded. They were still under the blankets, so he couldn't see anything, but if he just reached out his hand he would be able to touch Kurt, touch his naked chest. The thought made his head spin. He wanted to do that. He wanted it so badly, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. Should he ask? Or could he just do it.

"So…" Kurt tried to suppress a grin. "Any reason you wanted to lose the clothes?"

"I—uh," Blaine stuttered.

"Blaine, Sweetheart, it's okay. You're my boyfriend; you're allowed to touch me."

"I, yeah? You don't mind?" Blaine cringed at his own words. He wanted to be sexy for Kurt, not a stuttering virgin.

Kurt bit his lip and shook his head. He grabbed Blaine's hand under the blankets and brought it up against his lips, pressing a kiss against the knuckles before putting it on his shoulder. Blaine swallowed again and moved his thumb slightly so it was rubbing over Kurt's collar bone. He saw Kurt closing his eyes and smiling. His hand travelled lower, rubbing soft circles over Kurt's chest. He could feel Kurt's nipples and rubbed his fingers over the little nub, surprised when Kurt's lips parted and he let out a breathy moan.

"Oh, you like that?" he asked surprised.

Kurt nodded. "I, uhm, I have very sensitive nipples."

It was as Blaine's body reacted automatically to Kurt's words. He has pushed the blankets down before he consciously knew what he was doing. Kurt shivered, and Blaine liked to think it was because he had pressed his lips over the sensitive bud, and not because of the cold air that hit them. He tentatively opened his mouth and let his tongue lick in a circle around it.

"God, Blaine," Kurt groaned above him, making Blaine grin and continue. His hand slid up to Kurt's other nipple, brushing over it with his thumb. "Blaine, please." Kurt hands found their way into Blaine's curls and tugged gently at them, making Blaine look up. He was greeted by the sight of a flushed Kurt, panting for air.

"You really are sensitive, aren't you?" Blaine said curious. He had never thought of nipples as a sensitive spot, but apparently for Kurt, they were. He wondered if he would have the same reaction, but before he could really think about it, Kurt had hoisted him up so he was lying atop Kurt, pressing their lips back together frantically. Kurt's legs fell open so Blaine could settle between them, pressing their hips back together. Their bare chests were touching, and Kurt's hands were pressing into his lower back, just above his ass, but Blaine wanted more. He wanted to feel Kurt, completely. His hands flew to Kurt's pants and pulled them lower on his hips, exposing the lower part of his stomach and the v-shape of his hips. If he pulled again, he would expose Kurt completely, just like he craved. Kurt lifted his hips, and Blaine took that as a positive sign, so he pulled at them one more time. He could feel Kurt's thumbs hooking at the band of his own sweatpants, and moaned approvingly when they were pulled down as well. It took them some maneuvering and kicking of their feet to get them off completely together with his boxers, mostly because they were still attached by the lips for this whole process and restricted by the blankets, but they managed.  
A suppressed moan found its way out of Blaine's mouth when he lowered himself again so they were flush against each other, naked from head to toe.

He gasped against Kurt's lips when he felt his boyfriend wrapping his hand around his already very hard cock, earning him a bashful smile from Kurt. He almost felt the need to say something, say how good it felt, how amazing Kurt's hand felt around his erection, but Kurt pressed short kiss against his lips and started slowly moving his hand up and down. Blaine's head fell against Kurt's neck and he groaned again, opening his mouth and pressing fleeting kisses against the bit of space on Kurt's neck he could feel without moving too much. He almost whined when Kurt let go of him, but he shut up quickly when Kurt brought the palm of his hand to his mouth and started licking it. "Too dry," he explained between licks. Blaine was at loss for words. He didn't know what to say or do, he had practically no experience with this, except for some awkward attempts to do this on his own, and he desperately wanted to please Kurt, but he had no idea how.

"Kurt, you… I—"

Kurt shushed him and pressed another kiss against his lips. "Can you lie on your side for me? So we're face to face?"

Blaine nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

"Good," Kurt murmured, rolling also on his side and shuffling closer to Blaine so they could intertwine their legs. He brought his dry hand to Blaine's face and rubbed his jaw for a few moments. "Just, enjoy, okay?"

"But… you… I want."

"Shh, don't worry about me now."

Blaine wanted to protest some more, but all coherent thoughts flew out of his mind when Kurt's moistened hand wrapped around his cock again, the saliva making everything slippery, wet, and so much smoother. He gasped against Kurt's lips when Kurt twisted his hand in an upward motion. Kurt continued his efforts, every so often brushing over the tip with his thumb.

"Oh, God… Oh, Kurt." Blaine was blabbering nonsense. Everything felt wonderful and wet and so good. He never wanted it to end, but at the same time he wanted to reach his peak so badly. "So good," he gasped when Kurt pressed their lips together to muffle the sounds escaping from his mouth. He could feel Kurt all around him, his erection pressing hard against Blaine's hip. Kurt was softly grinding against him, making it even more real. Everything was so overwhelming and too much, before he even realized it himself, he was coming all over Kurt's hand, his moans swallowed by Kurt's mouth.

His head fell down on the pillow and he closed his eyes, his loud breaths the only thing audible in this moment. He felt Kurt's hand on his forehead, swiping some of his curls out of his eyes and he couldn't help the broad grin that found its way onto his lips. He opened his eyes again and saw a pair of big blue orbs staring right at him.

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart."

"Out of all, I think this was my favorite birthday gift," he answered.

Kurt chuckled. "We should go to sleep."

"What?" Blaine's eyes widened. "No, no! Not a chance. I get to do the same to you now."

Kurt bit his bottom lip and looked away shyly. "That's really not necessary."

"Kurt, please," Blaine protested. "I don't want to hear a speech about how this was for me and how I don't have to do the same for you. I  _want_  to do it. Please, let me."

"It's not that," Kurt trailed off, "although I don't expect you to do it just because I did."

"Kurt-," Blaine protested but was cut off when Kurt grabbed his hand and held it against his own hip, the exact place where Kurt had been rubbing against him mere minutes earlier. It was all wet and sticky. "Oh."

"Hmm," Kurt hummed and laid his head against Blaine's shoulder. "I'd love for you to give me a handjob, but like I said, it's not necessary."

"You… you came from rubbing against me?"

Kurt nodded and murmured, "I really like… you know, frottage."

"Oh." Blaine swallowed. The idea of Kurt rubbing himself against him made his dick twitch almost painfully.

"It's even better with lube. When everything's messy and wet and you're moving together, it can be so good." Kurt was still talking to him softly. "I love the feeling of being completely naked with someone and just letting your instinct take over. It's so oh-," Kurt let out a surprised yelp when Blaine turned him over and pressed their lips together, aligning them again from head to toe.

He pulled back for a moment to look in Kurt's eyes and smiled when he felt their cocks pressing together. He could feel Kurt's twitching to get hard again, and he himself was already halfway there. "Show me?"

"Yeah, okay," Kurt replied huskily.

…

The next morning Blaine woke with the sunset. He was lying face up, one hand splayed over Kurt's back. Kurt was on his stomach, his head resting in the hollow between Blaine's neck and his shoulder and he was half draped over him. They were still sticky from last night's activities. Neither had been bothered to clean up after the second time; Kurt had just fallen against Blaine, exhausted. Kurt was shivering from the cold air against his back where the blanket had glided down, so Blaine gently pulled it up and tucked it around him. His hand tightened around Kurt's back, and he used his other hand get Kurt's bangs out of his eyes so he could press a soft kiss against his forehead. He could hear Kurt murmur something in his sleep and felt him curling himself even tighter around Blaine. Blaine closed his eyes and let himself drift back off, thinking this was the way he wanted to wake up every day for the rest of his life.


	18. EPILOGUE

April 2012

My dear family,

I'm very happy you all decided to include me in your circle letter. As I wrote to Mamm and Datt earlier, I miss you all very much, and I wish I had had the chance to say goodbye.

Rebecca, how is married life treating you? I hope you are happy, and may you soon be blessed with many children. I heard Jeremiah and his wife are expecting their first child soon. I send them all my love, and I wished I could have seen the baby. Please tell him or her that Uncle Blaine loves it very much.

I do not know what to write, or what you are willing to read from me. Can I tell you about my job at the garage? Is it okay for me to speak about Kurt? Because those things are my life now and I would love nothing more than to be able to share them with you. If anything ever bothers or offends you, please let me know.

Your brother and son,  
Blaine

…

May 2012

My dear family,

It felt so good to read all your letters and reassurance that I could talk about my life freely. I know you do not approve of it, but I'm glad you all accept the fact that this is how it is now.

Thank you for your birthday wishes. My heart ached that I could not spend it with you, but I had a wonderful day nonetheless.

I got my license a few weeks ago. Burt taught me how to drive a car (after Kurt's failed attempt) and I did it. He also gave me this truck we've been rebuilding as a birthday gift. He's been letting me work more and more in the garage these days.

Kurt gave me a beautiful watch for my birthday.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Your brother and son,  
Blaine

…

April 2014

My dear family.

First off al, congratulations to Christopher and his new wife Mariah. I'm truly happy for both of you and I wish you all the luck in your marriage.

I can't believe it's already been more than two years since I moved here. I just turned 20, and once again Burt and Kurt surprised me with the best gifts I could have asked for. You might want to sit down for this.

First, Kurt asked me to marry him! Can you believe it? I still can't, but the beautiful ring on my finger is proof that he did. Gay marriage has just gotten legalized here, and he said it was the only birthday present he could think of.

I know you don't approve, but if  _any_  of you would like to be at our wedding, let me know and I will do anything I can to get you here. I really hope some of you will come.

Second, Burt asked me to become his business partner at the garage. He says he wants to slow down and spent more time with Carole and any future grandchildren. (I do hope he was talking about Finn and his wife, not me and Kurt because I am so not ready for that… yet) He even says he wants me to take over the garage in the future.

I still can't believe my luck I've found such a great second family here, although you're always in my heart.

Love, Blaine

…

July 2014

My dear family,

It's official. I'm Burt's business partner. They've just changed the sign from 'Hummel's Tire and Lube' to 'Hummel-Anderson's Tire's and Lube' last week. I'm so proud. I'll admit I shed a tear or two.  
Burt says in the future I can change it to 'Anderson's Tire's and Lube', but I think I'll keep it like this. After all, that'll be my name after I get married as well.

I didn't want to mention this, but Kurt says it's important I'm honest with you all, so here it goes. I'm disappointed no one of my family can make it to our wedding. We both are. I understand you still have a hard time accepting my sexuality, but I am marrying the love of my life, and I really hoped you'd find it in your heart to set aside these difficulties and be there for me on one of the happiest days of my life. If any of you change your mind, you're more than welcome to join us. You're always welcome at our place.

Love, your brother and son, Blaine.

…

August 2014

My dear family,

I got married last weekend. It was the best day of my life.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Blaine.

…

September 2015

My dear family,

It's been awhile since I put a letter in our circle letter, but I figured it was time. Kurt also said I shouldn't hold a grudge; I guess he's right.

Kurt and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary by adopting a stray dog that showed up at the garage. I think it was abandoned by his owners.

Kurt wanted to bring it to a shelter first, but I convinced him to keep it when I told him I knew what it was to be all alone without a family. We named him Cooper, and he's happily taken over half of our couch. I think it's good practice for the future.

Blaine.

…

August 201è

My dear family,

We've bought a house. No more small apartment for us. We figured it was time. We've been married for almost three years, we both have steady jobs, and the apartment wasn't big enough for our future plans. Cooper loves the yard; he hardly comes inside unless it's raining.

Congratulations to Jeremiah and his wife with their third son. I'm really happy for both of you.

Your son and brother,  
Blaine.

…

March 2018

Dear Mamm and Datt,

You can't believe how happy your separate letter made me. Of course I want to see you both. I understand it has to be somewhere out of the village.

Let me know when we can see each other, preferably during the weekend or during the summer holidays, so Kurt can some as well.

Love, your son,  
Blaine

…

May 2018

My dear family,

I've got some exiting news for all of you! Mamm and Datt already know this, but I think it's time to tell the rest of you.

You see the drawing attached to this letter? I made copies for every one of you! It's me, Kurt and our daughter, Madeline. We've been working on the adoption process for a while now, and we finally got to pick her up two weeks ago, right before I got to see Mamm and Datt.

She's three months old now, and her mother gave her up for adoption because she was too young to take care of her. She has piercing blue eyes, dark brown hair, and the most gorgeous smile. I can't believe I'm a father. I can't believe how happy I am. I never knew you could love someone instantly before they laid her in my arms, but you can. She's the best thing that has happened to us.

We decided she will call Kurt 'Papa', and me 'Datt'.

It's summer vacation, so Kurt has some time off from school, and I took a month of from working as well to spend with my family.

I'm so happy right now!

Love, your son and brother (and now a father!), Blaine.

…

September 2018

My dear family,

Madeline said my name! Although Kurt will tell you otherwise and says she's just babbling nonsense, I'm sure she said 'Datt'. He's just jealous.

Congratulations to Matthew on getting married. The farm must be silent with so many of us gone now.

Summer holidays are coming to an end, and I've started work again as well. We decided Kurt would quit his job in Westerville to take a job closer to home. He found a part-time position as a music teacher in his old school in Lima. It's perfect, because it gives him more time to be at home with our daughter. When we're both working, her grandmother, Carole takes care of her, and coincidentally it's usually the days Burt stays home as well. I'm so happy our daughter is blessed with so much love.

Love, your son and brother, but now foremost a father,  
Blaine.

…

October 2019

Mamm and Datt,

I'm writing you this short letter to let you know that Judith is okay. She showed up at our doorstep very late last night. She begged me not to tell you, but being a father myself now, I know how much you must be worried.

I promise Kurt and I will look after her. It's been years since I saw her; she was barely seven when I left, but she's my sister and I will take care of her.

Love,  
Blaine

…

October 2019

Mamm and Datt,

I'm writing this to you with permission of Judith. We had several long conversations last week, and as it turns out, Judith is pregnant. She was afraid to tell you, so she ran away. She wants me to tell you she loves you very much, and she's sorry.

She refuses to tell us who the father is, because she doesn't want him to get shunned, but what I can gather from her story is that many of the young man in your village are not as holy as they pretend to be.

She told us it wasn't forced, but I can also gather from her story that she didn't really knew what was happening. Don't blame her. She's just very poorly informed about these things, unfortunately.

We don't know what will happen yet. She says she doesn't want an abortion (and I can't say how happy I am about that), but she's not sure she wants to keep the baby either, so we've been talking to some adoption agencies. We'll figure it out. Either way, Kurt and I will fully support her.

Blaine.

…

May 2020

My dear family,

I'm happy to tell you Judith gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, baby girl. She's a month early, but apparently that happens a lot to people her age. She has a head full of black curls, and is the exact image of Judith. She's been adopted by a very loving family in Westerville, who aren't able to have children of their own. They named her Lara.

It's an open adoption, and Judith will keep in touch with them through letters and phone calls.

Kurt and I've been talking to her, and since she's only 15, we decided to send her to school in the fall. She's a bright girl, and Kurt has been helping her with several subjects already, so she won't be behind on her classes.

Madeline has become quite fond of her Aunt Jude, as she calls her. It's heartwarming to see the two of them together. I can't believe how fast she's growing up; she'll be attending school before I know it.

On a sad note, Cooper has passed away. We're not sure of his age (the vet thought he was three or four years old when I found him), but he's been with us for almost eight years, so I think he has had a good life.

Don't tell Madeline or Judith, but we'll be getting them a new dog soon. One of my employees has a bunch of puppies who will be able to leave their mom in a few weeks.

Love, your son and brother,  
Blaine.

…

June 2021

My dear family,

I've attached another drawing of my own family with this letter. As you can see, it's gotten three new additions since the last one I sent you. The original photograph it's based upon was taken at Lara's first birthday party, to which we were all invited. I'm sure you will recognize Judith and the beautiful baby girl she's holding is Lara. She's become quite a handful according to her parents. The child in Kurt's arms is Madeline, who has grown into a beautiful young girl. She's almost six.

The baby in my arms is Meredith. We'd been working on another adoption when Judith showed up at our door, so we put it on hold. I'll be honest with you, we had been thinking about adopting Lara, but we felt it would be too confusing for the children later in life.

We started the process again after Judith gave birth, and we were lucky enough to be picked out very quickly. Meredith is three months old; her mother died while giving birth and her father is unknown. We've been happy to welcome her into our somewhat unconventional family and give her all the love she deserves. The girls are in the majority at the moment, but Kurt and I can live with that.

Life's pretty great at the moment.

Love, your son and brother,  
Blaine


	19. one-shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so this is a smutty one-shot I wrote for this story. this is set probably 9 or 10 months into their relationship, so Blaine has been living with Kurt for a little over a year now.

This was nice, Blaine realized after a few moments. He shouldn't be nervous; it's just Kurt. He and Kurt, lying on their bed, kissing. Granted, the plan was to do a lot more than just kissing, hence the reason Blaine was so nervous in the first place.

They'd been preparing weeks for this. There had been a fair number of discussions about the topic. Who would do what; during the day or in the evening; using a condom, or not. Especially the last subject had brought out some heavy discussions. Both boys were clean; they had gone and been tested to make sure, even though Kurt had always been safe in the past and Blaine hadn't been with anyone but Kurt. When the test results came back negative, Blaine had been ecstatic. Not that he had expected anything else, but it was still a relief. Besides, it meant he could be with Kurt completely, no barrier between them. Only Kurt didn't seem to share his ideas, insisting they'd use a condom.

"It's just safer, Blaine," Kurt said, weary from the argument that had been going on for quite a while now.

"But I don't want to. I want to feel you, really you."

"It won't make much of a difference, and it's less of a mess afterwards!"

"How can you know if you've never done it without one?" Blaine shot back.

Kurt didn't know how to reply to that.

"Look, I don't get why you are so keen on using one. We're both clean, and unless you plan on cheating on me, or worse, think I'd cheat on you, I really don't see the need!" Blaine huffed.

Now, that comment had brought out a whole different argument, one that ended with a lot of tears and reassurance that this was it for both men. In the end they had made a compromise: Kurt wouldn't use a condom, but he also wouldn't come inside Blaine. Kurt was still leery of the mess and awkwardness that would create, not to mention how hard it would be to clean up, and he had assured Blaine that he wouldn't have the energy or the will to move another muscle after their first time. Blaine had reluctantly agreed, after Kurt's reassurance they could experiment and figure out what they liked after their first time.

None of that mattered any more in this moment, because all Blaine could think of was Kurt, his beautiful, perfect Kurt who was hovering above him. Blaine was lying on his back, and Kurt was right next to him on his side, one hand under Blaine's head and the other on Blaine's hips, pressing him slightly into the mattress. Lips pressed together and tongues battled for dominance. Blaine raised himself on his elbows so he could put more pressure into the kiss. He threw one hand around Kurt's neck and pulled the other man against him, making him lose his balance and fall down on Blaine. They erupted in chuckles and parted for a moment to look at each other.

"Hey," Kurt breathed. "Are you okay?"

Blaine nodded. "More than okay."

"Nervous?"

"I was, but not anymore," Blaine said honestly.

"Good." Kurt tilted his head forward to press their lips back together. They melted into one another instantly, and Blaine let out a soft groan when Kurt's hand slid to cup his ass. He tilted his hips so Kurt had more access, and keened when Kurt started to knead into the soft flesh. His boyfriend, so he had discovered, was quite fond of his ass, and constantly finding excuses to touch it. Not that Blaine minded, not at all. He untangled his hands from around Kurt's neck and pulled his shirt out of his pants. He wanted to feel more of Kurt, to be closer. He tried to get rid of his shirt without breaking the contact between him, but that seemed impossible, so Kurt separated their lips with a smack and leaned back to watch him. He noticed an appreciative smile on Kurt's lips when he threw his t-shirt away carelessly, and his boyfriend raked his eyes over his chest and stomach.

"So beautiful," Kurt murmured before pressing forward again, not even giving Blaine the time to start blushing. Kurt's hand instantly flew back to Blaine's ass to continue worshipping it. Blaine, in the meantime, was trying to focus on Kurt's dress shirt. He attempted to open up the buttons without breaking their kisses. He grew frustrated after a few moments, and Kurt chuckled against his lips before pulling back. "Wait a minute," he whispered against Blaine's lips. He untangled himself from Blaine and crawled off the bed so he could open his shirt.

Blaine's eyes widened and his breath quickened as he followed every movement Kurt made. As soon as the last button was undone and Kurt's shirt fell open, revealing nothing underneath it but his slightly toned chest and abs, Blaine was on the edge of the bed caressing the skin with his tongue, his hands pressed at Kurt's sides to keep him from moving so he could trace every inch of Kurt's stomach. He licked his way up to Kurt's nipples, tasting and sucking around them one after the other. He could feel Kurt shiver and felt a hand at the back of his head, fingers weaving themselves in his curls and guiding him. He felt Kurt push his head lower, and looked up at his boyfriend with a grin. Kurt had lost the shirt at some point, had his head thrown back, mouth open, and was breathing heavily. He was gorgeous, Blaine decided.

Blaine dipped his tongue into Kurt's bellybutton for only a moment before pulling back so he could unbuckle Kurt's belt and pop the button of his jeans and pull the zipper down. He nosed at the elastic of Kurt's boxer briefs for a moment, running his hands up and down Kurt's calves. He breathed deeply, loving the smell of Kurt like this, before slowly peeling down Kurt's jeans. They were tight, and Blaine really couldn't be bothered to take them of completely, so he let them pool around Kurt's knees. They could wait. There were more urgent matters, like Kurt's very obvious erection straining against his boxers. He could see the outline clearly and palmed it a moment before mouthing it over the cotton. He felt wetness seeping through the fabric and licked at the tip while palming Kurt's balls with one hand.

"God, Blaine!"

Blaine pulled back and grinned up at Kurt.

"No, no, go back. Please."

Blaine pressed his lips together tightly, pleased by the reaction he got out of Kurt. Truth be told, this was no new territory. They might not have gone all the way, but they'd done loads of other stuff, so Blaine had given Kurt blowjobs more than once, but Kurt's reaction still pleased him as much as it had the very first time.

"Blaine," Kurt was whining, and Blaine felt even more pleased. He didn't want to make his boyfriend wait, so he pulled Kurt's boxers down over his ass so his erection sprang free. He could hear Kurt sighing in relief before he eagerly licked his lips. He pressed a kiss against the tip before opening his mouth and sliding it down Kurt erection an inch or two. He lapped his tongue around it as he pulled back. He let go with a pop and pressed his tongue against the slit, licking up some pre-come. He swallowed it and looked up at Kurt with a glint in his eyes, licking his lips again eagerly. This was the part he knew, the part he was familiar with, so he wanted to do his very best to please Kurt as much as he could. Without warning his boyfriend, he took Kurt's cock back into his mouth, sucking a second or two at the tip before sliding down as far as he could. He could hear Kurt mutter something above him and put both his hand right under Kurt's ass, holding him tight and pushing him forward. He kept his head perfectly still as he guided Kurt's hips back and forth until Kurt's mutters turned into incoherent moans. Smiling to himself, he halted Kurt's movement and let his cock slide out of his mouth. It was glistering with saliva and pointing right at Blaine's face. He mouthed the underside, pressing it against Kurt's stomach while cradling Kurt's balls. He could feel them twitch in his palm when he licked up and down Kurt's erection.

"Blaine, baby, please," Kurt moaned.

"Please what?" Blaine asked, pulling back and looking up at Kurt again while still massaging his balls and bringing his other hand up to wrap around Kurt's cock.

"You've got to slow down."

Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Too good," Kurt murmured, pushing against Blaine's shoulder so he fell back on the bed. Kurt quickly got rid of the pants and boxers that were still stuck around his knees before tugging at Blaine's jeans. "Too much clothing."

Blaine grinned and lifted his hips so Kurt could easily pull his pants off so they were equally naked. He could see Kurt's eyes roaming over his body and blushed. They were back to their initial position, one of Kurt's hands around his neck and the other kneading his ass, only this time they were naked. Kurt's tongue traveled from Blaine's neck to his collarbone, sucking at it until it bruised. Blaine wasn't as sensitive around his nipples, so Kurt merely lapped at them a few times before traveling further south. Blaine let his head fall back against the pillows and opened his legs, giving Kurt more space to work in. He knew where this was going, and the nerves flared up again. It seemed as if Kurt knew this, because instead of going lower like Blaine had expected, he mouthed over Blaine's cock and continued massaging his ass. When Kurt sucked the tip of his erection inside, Blaine sighed in pleasure. Kurt lapped at it a few times, alternating between sucking at the tip and swirling his tongue around it. Blaine's mind was a haze. All he could think of, all he could feel, was the heat of Kurt's mouth around him, so when Kurt suddenly sank down all the way, swallowing around him, he didn't even feel Kurt's finger slipping inside him at the same time. He had no idea when Kurt had opened the bottle of lube that was on their nightstand or coated his fingers. He only felt Kurt's finger when his boyfriend slowly pulled back and wriggled his finger around. His erection fell back against his stomach, and he opened his eyes to see Kurt staring at him with a concerned expression.

"Okay?"

Blaine nodded before closing his eyes again. "I didn't even feel you entering me," he breathed.

He felt Kurt smile against his stomach before a kiss was pressed against it. "That was the plan, to distract you."

Blaine nodded and focused his attention on the finger currently pumping in and out of his ass. It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel exactly good either. It was just there. "Kurt?"

"Yes?"

He smiled when he felt Kurt pressing more kisses against his hipbone. "It's not really… I mean, it doesn't hurt, but it isn't exactly feeling nice either."

"Shh, give it some time," Kurt hushed him. "I'm just opening you up; I'm not looking for your prostate yet."

Blaine nodded.

"Ready for another?"

"Yeah, sure." He bit his lip and waited, expecting Kurt to push another finger in any moment, but instead he felt Kurt mouthing his cock again. He moaned at the feeling, but tensed a minute later when Kurt did push that second digit in. He definitely felt that. It still didn't hurt, but he could feel his rim stretching round Kurt's fingers now. He threw his head back against the pillows and focused on Kurt's mouth softly sucking around his cock instead of the intrusion of his body. He knew that the more he relaxed, the easier it would become. This worked, because soon Kurt was able to insert a third finger. He felt Kurt pumping them in and out, and he couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. It did not feel extremely pleasurable, as he had hoped, but the intimacy of it all made up for that.

"You're okay?" Blaine lifted his head and looked down at Kurt, who was lying between his legs. He nodded, not trusting his voice. Kurt smiled up at him and he could feel that he started to move his fingers differently. Instead of focusing on stretching him, he started to feel around, explore. Just as he was about to ask what Kurt was trying to achieve, he felt it. It was like sparks shooting down his erection, making it even harder.

"Oh, my." His mouth fell open in a load moan, and he saw Kurt smirk. He could have been wrong, but he assumed that Kurt must have found his prostate. As soon as Kurt repeated the action, he was sure. His hips bucked up involuntarily. "Is that…"

Kurt nodded and slipped his fingers out of Blaine's hole.

"No, no Kurt, please, don't stop."

Kurt shook his head and wiped his fingers on the bed sheets. "I don't want you to come too early."

Blaine pouted for a moment, but he let out another moan when Kurt crawled between his legs, aligning them from head to toe, and pressed their lips together in a sloppy kiss. His legs fell open instinctively and his hips rolled up against Kurt's. He could feel that Kurt's cock was slick, and he guessed he must have put some lube on it earlier so they could glide smoothly together. He hooked his legs around Kurt's knees and lifted his head to press closer. He could feel Kurt moan into his mouth and tried to hold back his own groans. He could come like this, just him and Kurt, being close, moving in synchronization. He had come like this before, they both had, but he knew that wasn't the goal for today. One of his hands was wrapped around Kurt's neck, and with the other he angled Kurt's hard cock, so it was gliding along his crack. He was open and stretched, and he could feel the head of Kurt's cock catching on his rim as he moved between Blaine's ass cheeks. His dick twitched every time that happened. They stayed like this for a few minutes, until Kurt pulled back, panting for air.

"Okay, okay," Kurt tried to catch his breath again. He sat back on his knees and stared down at Blaine, who was lying on his back, legs spread and slightly bent so he was fully visible. "I think… are you ready?"

Blaine, unable to form words, nodded fervently.

"Okay," Kurt repeated again as he reached for the lube, applying some more on himself. "Okay, just, try to relax."

Blaine sucked his bottom lip in his mouth. He felt Kurt's hands stroking his calves and pushing them towards his body, so his ass was more exposed. He hooked his arms around his knees and nodded, telling Kurt he was ready.

Kurt smiled and pressed a quick kiss against Blaine's lips before sitting back on his knees between Blaine's legs. He grabbed his cock and guided it towards Blaine's hole without pushing it in. Blaine could feel the head of Kurt's cock moving around the rim of his hole a few times, until he let out a whining moan that was meant to sound like 'please'. Kurt must have understood him, because right after that he could feel Kurt starting to push inside. It was more than Kurt's fingers, and he could feel himself stretch fully to let only the head of Kurt's cock in. It burned a little, but it wasn't painful. He felt Kurt sliding in a little deeper before pulling back again. His eyes were screwed shut, and quiet grunts were the only things escaping from his lips. He could feel Kurt push in a little deeper this time, ever so slowly, and he knew if he went that little bit more, he might touch his prostate, so he arched his back a little, making Kurt slide in further.

"Blaine," Kurt gasped in surprise.

"I can… I can take it Kurt, please," Blaine managed to get out. "Just a little more."

Kurt nodded and moved back out to slide in a little further with his next thrust. This time he slid over Blaine's prostate, and Blaine let out a contented sigh. He let go of his legs and hooked them around Kurt's back, pressing him in that last bit deeper. Kurt fell forward, barely catching himself on the elbows.

"Are you okay?"

"Please, Kurt, if you ask me that one more time," Blaine groaned and tilted his hips so his own erection was trapped between their stomachs. He knew Kurt must've felt it twitch desperately, because he smiled and pressed their lips together. Kurt started grinding his hips, making Blaine moan against his mouth. He wasn't moving much, but the little pressure it gave him was enough to leave Blaine breathless. He could feel himself adjusting to having Kurt inside him, opening up more and more, until the slight burn from before was completely gone. Suddenly Kurt pulled back, withdrawing almost completely. He angled his hips, and pushed back in slowly, deliberate, hitting Blaine's prostate head on. Blaine wasn't sure if the sound that escaped his mouth was even humanly possible, but Kurt must have liked it, because he repeated the action again and again. Blaine turned his head and tried to muffle his cries of pleasure against the pillow. Suddenly, after a few more thrusts Kurt stilled his movements and fell back on Blaine, kissing that spot right above his clavicle.

"Kurt, no don't stop," Blaine protested weakly.

"Too much," Kurt panted. "You feel so good, Sweetheart. I want to make you come first."

Blaine nodded, but moved his hips up nonetheless, looking for friction. He scrunched his eyes shut again when Kurt started rolling his hips once more, and grabbed his cock with one hand. Kurt hit his prostate with every thrust, and his hand was in perfect synch stroking Blaine's cock. Blaine tried to hold back for a while, but gave up quickly after a few forceful thrusts. It felt like stars shooting right from the spot Kurt was hitting with every movement, right to the head of his cock, which was firmly grasped in Kurt's hand. His mouth opened wide, and a breathless moan escaped his lips when his orgasm washed over him. With every spurt his cock made, Kurt's movements seemed to intensify. Every drag of Kurt's cock shot another spark through him, until he was boneless and panting for breath.

He could feel Kurt moving out of and leaning over him, fisting his leaking cock. He knew Kurt was close as well; he could see it written all over his face, and he lifted a hand to wrap around Kurt's shaft, intertwining their fingers. A few forceful strokes and Kurt let out a loud whine. Blaine felt Kurt's cock twitch and smiled when he felt the first spurts of Kurt's come fall on his stomach, mixing with his own. He continued to stroke Kurt, until he felt his boyfriend fall on top him, probably feeling as boneless as he was.

They lay like that for a few moments, catching their breath and basking in the afterglow, until Kurt lifted his head and looked up at him questioningly. Blaine smiled down at him bashfully. He had been afraid this might change their relationship. After all, this was it, the last piece of themselves they could share with one another. Blaine had been afraid that after they had sex, things would change; it wouldn't feel the same. They had waited so long for this final step in their intimacy, Blaine was afraid it would be disappointing. He was especially afraid  _he_  would be disappointing for Kurt. No matter how close and intimate they had become, whenever they took a new step, he still felt like a blushing virgin; like he wouldn't be able to live up to Kurt's past experiences.

"You know, I never believed it, but I guess they were right after all."

"They?" Blaine's eyebrows frowned in confusion.

Kurt hummed against Blaine's chest and pressed a kiss against the sweaty skin. "Everyone always says sex is better with feelings, if you love the person you're doing it with."

Blaine's chest tightened pleasantly. "Oh?"

"It was so much better than anything I've ever done before."

"That's—That's good." Blaine smiled and tightened his grip on Kurt. "I don't have much experience… but I thought it was pretty great as well."

Kurt lifted himself on his elbows so he was looking down on Blaine. "You know I love you, right? You're the only man I've ever loved- I ever will love."

Blaine blinked a few times and swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He knew how Kurt felt about him, but hearing it like this, in the afterglow of their love, it made the words even more meaningful; more real. If there was still the smallest trace of doubt lingering in his mind that leaving his family had been good idea, Kurt erased them at this moment. He was where he was meant to be. He was with the man he loved, he  _was_ with his family.


End file.
